A Thousand Times

Chapter Three: A Spotless Mind

During the day, Liya was the master of the masquerade. It was easy. Her schedule was crammed pack with meeting after meeting, thanks to Warren and Joanna. She didn't have time to think of anything else. Her nights, however, were altogether different.

At night, in the shelter of her room, with its alabaster walls and tall windows, shielded by a barrier of green foliage, she felt safe enough to let her mask come undone.

At night, as time stood still, and silence filled the air, the sun gave way to the sorrow of twilight and her mind always drifted back to him.

Curled beneath the sea of blankets that topped her king-size bed, she stared up at the skylight and wiped away the single tear that betrayed her.

'Where is he now? Is he alone? Does he ever think of me?' Her subconscious lured her into a shallow pool of self-loathing as she cursed him, inwardly.

How she wished she could erase every memory of him like Joel Barish attempted in Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. But she knew, Nathaniel Greyson had branded her heart, and the moment she laid eyes on him was the moment she became his captive for eternity.

Staring at her phone, she wrestled with the need to ease her pain.

'Just pick up the phone and call him. He'd be on the quickest flight and back in your arms.'

But the thought of his betrayal stopped her.

She never understood how someone who claimed to love her could hurt her so bad.

While she realized that he hadn't actually cheated during their relationship, the thought of him in Patrice's arms, the night after their first date, always haunted her.

"No." She wiped away her tears and wrestled with her sorrow. "I can't do this anymore."

Startled by the buzz from her side table, she smiled as she saw her mother's name in her caller id.

"Hey, mama."

"Hey, baby. How are you doing? Tomorrow's the big day, huh?"

Inhaling, she smiled. "Yeah. Can you believe it?"

"Everything is going to work out fine. You just wait and see."

"I wish I could be as confident as you, mama."

"I just know my daughter. She is a talented writer, and her gift is going to transition seamlessly onto the big screen."

"You've always been my cheerleader. Thank you, mama."

"I always will be."

As if her mother had a crystal ball and could see the tear stains on her face, she asked. "So, how are you really doing?"

"Um." She fought back the tears. "I'm alright."

"Liya. I know you, honey. You don't have to be strong for me."

"I just...sometimes I miss him so much, and I hate myself for..."

"No, Liya. Don't beat yourself up. When someone breaks your heart, there is a process to getting over it. You can't skip the hard parts, but trust me, one day it will get better."

"You sound like you've been talking to my therapist." She laughed through her tears.

"She sounds like a wise woman."

"Not as wise as you." Liya pulled her knees to her chest and exhaled. Talking with her mother always seemed to make things right.

"Thank you for calling, mama. I really needed to hear your voice. So,... when are you gonna let me buy your ticket so you can come out here?"

"Oh, honey. I think I'm getting another call. I'm gonna have to get back to you on that."

"Mama?" They laughed in unison.

"Pray for your mama, baby. I want to see you. I really do. I just...."

"I know, Mama. One step at a time."