Honeycomb Hearts

Dissolving Doubts

"Gossip?" Yang asked, "I don't know if I have any gossip per say."

"Well Ruby certainly has some." Weiss sipped her wine, the red nectar reflecting the lights of the bar around them. "She even told me about a certain pot of flowers she got you for your birthday."

Yang looked down at her beer. Half of her face reflected back, the other half lost in the alcohol she wasn't sure if she even wanted to drink.

"You don't have to drink it. I remember how much of a lightweight you are," Weiss said, "Blacked out after one Yike's Hard Lemonade in our dorm room freshman year."

"I didn't black out! I just simply chose to take a nap!" Yang said.

"In the middle of our floor."

"Yes, in the middle of our floor. Our carpet was very comfortable."

Weiss sighed. "You obviously invited me here to talk about something. If you feel it'll be easier with alcohol, your choice, but don't drink enough that you can't talk about it."

"You're right." Yang pushed the beer away from her. The sizzle of alcohol was still riding in the back of her throat. Her tongue was hot, and that's all she needed. "Blake and I are getting married."

"Oh, really? Congratulations!" Weiss smiled and took another sip of her wine. "When's the wedding?"

"Well, I haven't proposed yet," Yang said.

Weiss' face fell flat. "Well then you're just getting ahead of yourself, now aren't you?"

"Not really. See, the amavissets Ruby got me were more than just a pot of romantic flowers. Apparently there's a legend in the town that whoever gets the flowers as a gift will be married within the year. It happened with Blake's parents."

"Just with the Belladonnas?" Weiss asked.

"No, apparently it's a whole long list of families in the past, back to way before I was born. I think it's more a promise than a myth, personally." Yang thought of reaching for the beer. The heat on her tongue was already fading.

"Well, what's the problem then? You two love each other, right?" Weiss asked.

"We do, but I'm just not sure about already getting married. I mean, tons of people get married in their mid-twenties, but the fact that soon I'm gonna be married... It just feels, I don't know... surreal? Is that the word?"

"An English major I am not," Weiss said, "But I understand. When Winter got married and moved out, it felt like a huge part of my life had just changed – and I wasn't sure if it was for the better or not. Eventually I learned to live with it, then I moved out on my own and Whitley lived with it."

"But that's your siblings. If Ruby was getting married, that would help, but this is my own life."

"Well, what are you unsure about?" Weiss took another sip of her wine.

"If I'm enough."

Weiss laughed, "Well you're more than I can handle sometimes, if that's what you mean."

Yang groaned. Maybe the problem was Weiss getting too drunk, not herself. "What I mean is I feel like I'm not really... a whole person. Or have a whole mind. I was forced to move to Apis Mellifera because of the earthquake, and I lost my arm because of it. Ever since I moved, I feel like my life has just been jostled around, bouncing between meeting new people, finding time for Ruby, spending time with Blake... I just don't know how much time I've had to just be myself recently."

"So you're worried you're not complete? Like you're just half a person?" Weiss asked.

"Yeah, exactly. What if, when Blake moves in, she thinks I'm boring? I haven't spruced up the house since I moved in, for the first few weeks it felt like I was just a sad sack sitting on the couch, terrified of another earthquake coming."

"Being smart with your money isn't boring," Weiss said.

"It's not just the money. I have quite a bit still saved up from insurance, plus the fact that my dad paid for college means all of the savings he started before I was born are still there as well."

"But do you have any way of getting more money?" Weiss asked.

"Not really," Yang said.

"Bingo. That's what you're missing. Back in college, you had a certain drive to you whenever you went to class. I remember sitting in on one of your professor's lectures and you always had your hand raises with questions, answers, and the like. I haven't seen that drive since the earthquake."

Yang laid her head on the table. "So I really have lost part of myself. Not just my arm, but my passion."

"Except..." Weiss said.

"Except?"

"I remember you telling me about the apiary and what happened with Blake. She pushed you to get closer and you got stung."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"Reminding you is exactly what I'm trying to do, Yang. Think about it. Blake is pushing you, challenging you. She's moving to make you happier, stronger, better! She's basically your number one fan!"

"What does any of this have to do with the apiary?" Yang asked.

Weiss slapped her face. "What I'm saying is this: you don't feel like yourself because you lack drive. Blake gives you that drive. She pushes you towards success, and she's there when you fall. She doesn't see the metal arm, she doesn't see the broken Yang that you do. To her, there's only one Yang – the one she loves!"

Yang glanced towards the beer. Her tongue wasn't burning this time, it was her heart. Blake did push her, challenge her. And she loved Blake because of it. Blake was more than just a girlfriend, more than just a fiancée. She was Yang's reason to get stronger. To be her best self.

"I felt pathetic, letting Ruby see me in such a bad state. When I pushed myself, I always pushed to be a role model for her. To be there for her. When she saw me so down, so sad, I feel like I lost my drive to be the best person I could be. But Blake really does push me, doesn't she?" Yang asked.

"Whether it's to be a better person or off the couch, I'm willing to bet she does push you more than you realize," Weiss said, "And that's why you don't exactly feel whole. Because Blake completes you."

Yang smiled. The bartender came by and asked if there would be seconds. There wouldn't be any, Yang said, and handed the man a twenty. "What I'm also hearing you say is," Yang said, "Is that I should really get a job."

"Your words, not *hic* mine." Weiss said.

"Isn't that your only glass?" Yang asked.

"Shure is!" Weiss said.

Yang rolled her eyes. She knew that Weiss had been the one that blacked out after the Yike's Hard Lemonade, but Weiss insisted that she couldn't possibly get drunk off of one bottle of anything. She took the change from the bartender and stood up, stretching her arms with newfound purpose.

"I'll drive you home," Yang said.

"I can walk juss fine, Yang," Weiss replied.

Yang picked Weiss up off of her chair and lifted the girl onto her back. Weiss' head drooped right onto Yang's shoulder, and the two made for the door.

"Hey, Yang?" Weiss asked.

"'Sup?"

"Can I be your bridesmaid?"

"You sure can, ice queen."

Weiss thumped Yang on the head. "Don't call me zhat."