vivid

xxii. me, you, and the ocean

TW: SUICIDE MENTIONED

It had been over an hour since he'd dragged me back into the car. We were driving farther and farther from the city, near the coast. The sun had already reached its peak and was beginning to set, leaving behind a blood red sky.

I turned my head at Sukuna, his eyes were on the road. One hand firmly holding the wheel. He noticed my gaze.

"What do you want?" He muttered.

I ignored him and looked away. My eyes felt heavy... Hopeless. There was this sinking feeling in my stomach that hadn't seemed to go away since I'd found myself alone with him.

I'm going to die...

I'm going to die aren't I...

There really is nothing left for me...

I gazed out the window, enviously eyeing the care free passers-by on the side walk. We were nearing a beach... It looked so beautiful. The sun had painted the water in a peachy glow. Families packed up for the night. It was almost empty.

I got a horrible idea...

"Can you stop here?" I asked.

"Ah?" He croaked, cocking me an eye.

"I said could you stop here... I-..."

"You what?"

"I want some fresh air... At the beach." I said.

"This isn't a taxi y/n."

"Where are you even taking me anyways? I'm sure a quick stop won't hurt. I've already tried to run away and you caught me. I won't do it again. Even if I tried, you'd just catch me again."

"I'm not letting you out. Go to sleep and piss off, let me drive."

I sat up in aggravation, "I just want air. I've been in this stuffy car with you for the passed hour. And in case you didn't know, I hate you and I just want one second alone before I have to spend the next couple weeks with you Sukuna."

He clicked his tongue, "Fine. I'll let you get your fresh air. But don't think I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this for my own sanity. I know you won't shut up about this if I choose otherwise."

I sighed... "Thank you."

He pulled into the beach parking lot and unlocked the door. He sat the vehicle in clear view of the sea shore.

Before I opened the door he grabbed my arm, "Get all the fucking oxygen you need and come back. I'll be waiting here. Don't try anything stupid, got it?"

I nodded and he let go. I stepped outside and made my way to the shore. As soon as I touched the sand, I slipped off my shoes and held them by my side. It got colder as I reached the water.

Wind carried my hair across my face and whipped little specks of sand in my eyes. I plopped my sneakers on the ground and dipped my toes into the ocean. For a moment, I just stood there... Taking a deep breath, contemplating what I was about to do.

I was going to drown myself...

Sukuna would never have my life... He was an idiot to think I'd ever allow that. As I looked back, I saw him glaring at me from behind the car windshield. Dead, emotionless eyes. Black marks covering his face. The only plus side of dying, would be the fact that I'd never have to see him again.

I walked into the water, it felt like ice encapsulating my ankles. It was early October anyways.

The waves brimmed up my legs as I strolled in deeper. My jeans were drenched. It felt like my body was moving on its own. Of course I didn't want to die, but I really had no other choice. Either stay and get killed by Sukuna for some ritual, or kill myself.