Securing Sect Leader Jin

Before SSLJ, you must first secure your shidi/shixiong. Part 2

At some point, it had started raining. The sound on the rooftop would normally lull him back to sleep, but the only thing he could hear at the moment was--

I would have done anything for you to live ...

Jiang Cheng sucked in a sharp breath.

The words pierced him like Wen Qing's needles must have.

Wasn't... wasn't that his own thought when he'd led the Wens away from Wei Wuxian? It didn't matter what happened to him, he'd just needed Wei Wuxian to live. He had fully expected to die that day. All he knew was that he wouldn't.. couldn't let them take Wei Wuxian. And now... now he couldn't ever tell him about that. He wouldn't.

Because it would break Wei Wuxian's heart.

If he ever found out that he was the reason for Jiang Cheng being tortured and losing his core....

No.

Wei Wuxian would never know. Better to let him think he went back for his parents' bodies to be filial. He wouldn't blame himself then. And of all the things Jiang Cheng blamed him for and wanted him to acknowledge and apologise for... that was definitely not one of them.

Stupid he wanted to say. And did you ever think about what you would do afterwards? How would you have explained to me where your cultivation went? If you hadn't been caught and thrown into the burial mounds, you would have had no demonic cultivation to fall back on. What would you have done then? He wanted to shake Wei Wuxian for his complete lack of thought about himself. It was always this way with him. Playing the hero for everyone, not caring about the consequences. Not caring about himself and what could happen to him.

But how could he? How could he when he did the same? How could he when they felt the same way?

He cradled the back of Wei Wuxian's head for a second then pulled him away from where he was tucked into Jiang Cheng's neck to make him face him. His eyes were red and swollen from all the crying, tears still sporadically making their way down his face.

Jiang Cheng exhaled tiredly, leaning his forehead against Wei Wuxian's and closing his eyes tightly.

"You..." he said weakly. His own eyes were starting to well up.

"I know you're angry with me," Wei Wuxian mumbled wetly, "I don't blame you."

He wanted to hide his face again but Jiang Cheng's hand was on his nape, keeping him right where he was.

"I'm not sorry for doing it," he said in a fit of bravery, "It was the only way I found to help you. But I'm sorry that you didn't hear about it from me. I just... I didn't want to hurt you."
"A-Cheng," he said brokenly, "I'm sorry I hurt you." He felt Jiang Cheng's hand tremble and he raised his own hands to cup his shidi's cheeks, once again wiping tears from it.

His voice was soft and melancholic. "For all the times I hurt you. I'm sorry. It was the last thing I wanted to do. And if you had to find out about the core it should have been from me. It wasn't Wen Ning's place to say it. I should have told you myself."

Jiang Cheng barely contained a whimper. He couldn't open his eyes to meet Wei Wuxian's or he would surely break down too. They'd never talked to each other like this before...they'd never even addressed each other so familiarly (both would rather say it to Yanli than to each other's faces). But it felt necessary. It felt right . After everything they'd been through, didn't they deserve to have someone to be familiar with? The only one he had left in the world was Jin Ling. And who did Wei Wuxian have? A displaced soul and a donkey? It felt wrong that Wei Wuxian, who'd been the life of every place he'd ever been to, should be left to travel the world all alone.