Frost

Chapter 8

Confusing feelings

Ivy didn't know what was wrong with her. She hadn't slept all night and couldn't eat a bite in the morning. The constant reminder that Bucky had finally gone to war put her in permanent fear. She didn't know she could miss a person who wasn't Howard so much. She had become addicted to Bucky's personality in the last few months. She longed to argue with him every morning, to stifle a smile at his jokes and feel his warmth.

She had never craved anyone's warmth as much as she craved his, and it scared her. Never had her body responded so much to a touch. She wanted so much... But she didn't know what. She had so much to say, but she didn't have the right words. Ivy knew only one thing for sure: she had to see Bucky again.

"Hey, I was hoping you'd be here." Steve nervously barged into her little bookshop, causing Ivy to startle. She had been so lost in thought that she hadn't even noticed his arrival.

"Steve? Are you all right? What happened?" she asked anxiously, bracing herself against her counter so as not to collapse in exhaustion. Steve stopped in front of her counter and noticed her tiredness as well as she noticed his nervousness.

"Are you all right?" he asked cautiously and Ivy nodded with a tired smile.

"Yeah, just didn't sleep well" Ivy said and Steve nodded thoughtfully. He knew only too well why she had slept badly. Suddenly he felt bad that he would come here and imprint her with another piece of news.

"Steve, what's the matter? You're trying to tell me something. I can see it in your eyes" said Ivy, who had noticed Steve's frantic movements despite her tiredness.

"It can wait,"

"No tell me. Please. You can tell me everything" Ivy assured him, looking at him curiously.

"I've been accepted" Steve said under his breath. He looked intently at Ivy's face, trying to read any reaction from it, but her face told him nothing.

"This is crazy!"

"You're leaving me too" Ivy thought, but smiled proudly at Steve. "I'm happy for you" she said and hugged him. She didn't let on and kept her true thoughts to herself. Steve had been so desperate to get into the army and Ivy knew that. She knew how much this move meant to him. She wouldn't mess up this moment. Of course she would support him, no matter how much the approaching loneliness was tearing her apart from the inside.

"Really?" asked Stege in amazement as he hugged Ivy back.

"Yes, of course. I know how much it means to you" Ivy whispered with a small smile as she let go of Steve and took a step backwards.

"I have to leave tomorrow" Steve said quietly and Ivy bit her bottom lip.

"Then tomorrow is the day Steve Grant Rogers is going to make the military unsafe."

~°~

But it was also the day Ivy felt lonelier than she had in a long time. She didn't even have the motivation to get out of bed and go to her bookshop. She would love to spend the whole day in silence here and-...

"Get up and enjoy the day, Frosty!" Howard yelled extra loudly, pulling aside the curtains on Ivy's window.

"Howard, stop it!" Ivy yawned into her pillow and pulled the covers over her head, hoping Howard and the sun would disappear again.

"Being a good brother? To be better looking than you? To be brilliant? Unimaginable-"

"Howard!" groaned Ivy in annoyance, banging her head against her pillow.