Steph's Ranting

Wednesday, 18th of March - Am I Abused?

Okay, I have to get this off my chest. I feel abused. I know my mum loves me, but it's just she's really insensitive sometimes and doesn't listen to me.

I'm 14 years old, I have what's called "puberty", and sometimes it feels like no one cares. Since I'm a Christian, I can know that Jesus is by my side, which makes me happy, but..

I want to talk about this issue. Sometimes my mum get stressed and takes that stress out on me and Dad. I don't blame her, I do have a snappy side of me sometimes. It's just she doesn't let me have my emotions. I feel like a robot. She speaks to me in aggressive tone and claims she's being "firm" with me. 

I have tried to talk to her about this, but she keeps brushing me away and after time passes, I've had forgotten about it (since I can be a very forgiving person and I forgive people within seconds) as had she.

I'll try and talk to her about it in the future, but I'm just afraid she won't understand. Sometimes she doesn't understand at all and then I feel alone. 

I'd like to talk about today's events and something else, though. When I was little I was getting ready for a Girl's Brigade anniversary event. I was about to go to the shower when I had a question I wanted to ask. I'm not sure what I asked, but Mum suddenly snapped at me and said I couldn't go. I don't remember the details and Mum said she doesn't either.

We discussed this topic yesterday, and today she suddenly told me she "knows what happened" and said I had been "behaving outrageously". I don't know what seized her to say this. Why so suddenly would she have remembered? I know my mum well, and it feels like she is lying to me. 

She then changed the subject, saying I needed to put on a good attitude and do my schoolwork. I was a little butthurt about her comment of "putting on a good attitude". She treats me like a child sometimes. I admit that I may be a little quick-tempered, but she doesn't really have patience either. It's in our personality genes, I guess.

Next, for my homeschooling today, I had to write an essay. I decided to review the episode "Magical Mystery Cure" from the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic series. She tells me that if I don't get my essay done, then I'm not going to the Sleepover thing at my Girls Brigade, which is on Friday. And she expects the essay to be done within a DAY, because the moderator is coming in tomorrow. 

My name is Stephanie and I have decided to post a huge rant about my feelings and life outside the computer. 

It's not easy being a teenager.