not really me | sunflower

flowers, floods, matches

me when i haven't updated this in... months...

im not one to leave author's notes but im really sorry for not updating :( i hope you guys enjoy this chapter even tho it's kinda short :)

2:57 am

The digital clock blinked from the TV stand. Sunny sat wide awake. Silence crushed him from all sides. There was something. Something he needed to do. Something urgent. Something behind him—

Crash!

He heard what should've been a loud noise from upstairs, but it was muffled. The few sounds he heard were gargled as if he was underwater. He trudged up the stairs, moving through water. Spiders crawled up his back, his arms, his legs. The stairs went on for hours. Step after step.

Basil.

He needed to get to Basil. The thought of Basil scattered the spiders like sweeping a hand over a cluttered desk, and Sunny reached the second floor. He moved blindly through darkness. He reached a doorknob at the end of the hall. He pulled it open.

"Sunny?"

Basil laughed hoarsely, but the relief was evident.
"Sunny! Sunny, I knew you wouldn't leave me! You won't leave me, right?" He turned around, laughter morphing quickly into a tear-stricken face.
"It was Something, right? It's behind you, I can see it now. Can you see it?" Sunny turned to the door. A single eye. A moving shadow. He turned around.
"That day... that day, it wasn't you, right? It was Something behind you. Something behind you pushed Mari. I know you wouldn't do that. Nice people don't do stuff like that." Basil smiled, but it wasn't with happiness. His expression was manic, desperate.

"You know... Something tells me stories. It says that you've been dreaming." He closed his eyes.
"It says that you dream... dream that you go on fun adventures, dream that you're with your friends," Basil's laughter rang out like a bell swinging back and forth in his skull. "Dream that you left me! Are you going to leave me, Sunny? Just like you fantasize about? Leave me again?!" Tears streamed down his cheeks. "That's so mean, Sunny! That's so mean!"

"Basil,"
Sunny's throat was dry, words foreign to his tongue. He spoke anyway. Basil stared.
"I'm... going to leave," He paused. "But I'll come back."
"I promise." Sunny stepped forward. "All those adven-" He coughed. "-adventures I dreamed about, they were to find... you." He hesitated. The looming shadow behind Basil seemed to cower.
"Whatever happens, I... swear... that I'll come back." Basil took a step forward, then another, and he lurched forward, falling into Sunny's already open arms.
They swayed for a moment, then collapsed into a heap on the floor like a Jenga tower.

Sunny was certain about a lot of things, like that the Earth is a sphere or that water is two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. Something he was not certain about, however, was Basil. As he lay on the floor, his heart thumped in his chest, as if fighting against the weight provided by Basil's head. Sunny felt as if the tightly wrapped emotions he'd packed away while suspended in a state between consciousness had suddenly burst and flooded his mind.
He felt his abnormally pale face color red. He felt tulips bloom in his stomach, white petals tickling his insides.
Then the flood turned dark, as if the water had been polluted and Sunny felt the tidal wave wash over him, filling his lungs with worry and doubt and intrusive thoughts and fear.
The fear that washed over him then carried along anger, as fear always does. The anger lit like a match in his lungs, igniting and exploding into his head.

Then, it was all over, and he was tired. The flowers, the flood, and the match suddenly felt like the memory of a sweltering afternoon in the park, or fries reheated in a microwave. He was tired, and nothing mattered except the weight against his body.

Then, Sunny was asleep.

And he woke up.

He sat up, and stared at his monochrome room. He stared at his laptop, his sketchbook, his box of tissues, his cat. He looked up at the hanging black lightbulb, then at the door. It was all there, just as he wanted it.

Except, he didn't want it. He wanted to feel the warm weight of Basil against him, fluffy hair brushing his chin, clumsy arms thrown around him.
And suddenly, the flower, the flood, and the match were back. The flower soaked up the water of the floor and the flood extinguished the match and the match ignited the flower's petals, over and over and over.
Sunny fell flat against his back, listening to the aggressive storm of emotions rage in his mind and heart.

As Sunny lay there, listening to the silence around him and the storm swirling inside of him, he heard a click. He turned his head.

  The door swung open.