not really me | sunflower

alone

sorry guys school started up again and i'm busy with work
—

  After breakfast, Hero and Kel returned home to
spend time with their mom.

  Then, Polly went out to run errands.

  Which left Sunny and Basil alone. And very aware of it. At least, Basil was aware of it. Sunny seemed to be completely fascinated by the shelves of plants in his house.
  "Um, Sunny?"
  Sunny slightly turned his head.
  "Can we... I don't know— um? Talk?"
  "About what." Sunny's way of speaking made it seem like a statement.
  "Well... just— just last night, I guess."
  Sunny turned. "It's okay."
  "No, no, that's not what I mean. Last night, I..." Basil swallowed. "I don't really understand what I was talking about."
  "What?"
  "I... you... pushed Mari? What does that mean?"

Sunny froze.

He couldn't. He didn't want to, he couldn't, he wouldn't. But he also couldn't hurt Basil.

So he said, "I have to go."

And he promptly sprinted out of Basil's house. And ran for as long as he could (not very long) towards his house before stopping to sit at the curb and catch his breath.
  Through all of his very heavy breathing, Sunny didn't notice footsteps approaching him until turquoise and pink shoes appeared in his vision.
  "Hey, loser."
  Sunny looked up. "Hi."
  Aubrey stared at him, bewildered. "You talk now?"
  "Yeah?"
  "Okay, weirdo. Why?"
   Sunny found it strange that she was conversing with him as if he didn't pull a knife on her just yesterday, but he answered anyway. "Basil."
Aubrey's face soured. "What did he do?"
"Be nice."
She flinched. "Whatever. Bye."

Sunny sat on the curb for a while after, pondering that conversation. A long time ago (he couldn't remember exactly when), he had something of a crush on Aubrey. Those feelings had disappeared along with her kindness. Even so, Sunny knew that even if she was his friend again, those feelings would not return.
After some more pondering, Sunny realized that he was meant to be running away from Basil. So he stood up and finished the run (slow walk) home.

Now that everything was packed up and ready to go, Sunny's house was empty. His footsteps echoed and he could hear wisps of cobwebs brushing against the plaster walls.
When Sunny arrived home, he realized that he was quite sweaty from running and sitting on the curb in the sun. So, he turned on the bath and sat there until the water filled up.

And the water kept filling up and he was sliding down against the walls of the tub and the water kept pouring and he sunk.

And sunk.

And sunk.

And he sunk until he couldn't breathe and he could see all the shadows in the water and he couldn't breathe and the water had nowhere else to go so it filled up his lungs and the shadows came closer and, and, and—

A monotone room. A laptop, a sketchbook. A box of tissues, his cat. A hanging black light bulb, a shining white door.

Himself, staring down at him. Or staring up? He looked at himself, said,
 
  "I can help you. Trust me."

  A hand was extended.

  He reached out to accept.