Home for Horny Monsters - Book Five

Taking Risks

They walked through the forest. The owl-woman had transformed back into her bird form and was leading them along a winding path. Around them, the Nirumbi chirped quietly as they watched the motley crew march through the snow, the crunching of the ice beneath their feet disturbed only by the sound of Mike eagerly slurping down yet another can of soup.

"Ugh, I hate split pea and ham," he declared, handing the empty can to Bigfoot, who crushed the can flat between his hands. Bigfoot stuck the flattened can in a small cloth bag he carried that was emblazoned with the words Camp It In, Camp It Out.

"Are you done yet?" Bigfoot asked, wiping his hands clean with snow.

"Hell, no. I saved the best for last." Mike swiveled his backpack around, reaching inside to grab a can of New England Clam Chowder. He popped the top and handed it over to Yuki, who heated it up with her foxfire. Steam rose from the can as the soup was heated to a level of perfection that a microwave could only dream of.

"I don't know how you can stand to eat that garbage." Bigfoot shook his head in disgust. "It's like someone who's never eaten clam chowder tried to replicate it. And you're lucky if you get more than one bit of clam."

"You're lucky I couldn't carry more." Mike's stomach growled as if in agreement, and he took the can from Yuki and started drinking it. He had already handed her another can of clam chowder to heat up.

Upon the announcement that the Nirumbi had returned with a shapeshifting owl, Mike had gone outside to greet them. Though he had his doubts, the owl-woman had seemed sincere and he needed to get home as soon as possible. Some doubts had been voiced, but it was ultimately decided that the risk was worth taking.

After loading up his bag with as much soup as possible, the group set out. The Nirumbi had watched silently from the trees until Dana emerged from the cabin. Her eyes no longer glowed from within, but they were rimmed with crimson. She looked almost human again, but the Nirumbi gave her an exceptionally wide berth.

Bigfoot used portals to speed their journey as the owl flew ahead of them. The sensation of the forest shifting around them made Mike a little nauseous at first, but he was too hungry to give it much attention.

"So what can you tell me about the goblin king up there?" Mike nodded in the direction of the owl. "An old friend of yours?"

"Is that a Labyrinth reference?" A smile tugged at Bigfoot's mouth.

"Might be." Mike swallowed a good amount of his can, regretting that he didn't have any crackers.

Velvet appeared next to them, then wrapped an arm around Bigfoot's waist. "Do you remember that movie, Uncle Foot?"

"You two must have watched it a thousand times." Bigfoot's eyes crinkled in the corners. "The two of you would take turns being the girl from that movie. I was usually...was it Ludo?"

"It was." Velvet looked at Mike. "We would take him to the bog of eternal stench, which was just the hot spring, and take turns rescuing each other."

Bigfoot chuckled. "We had to stop watching it when Vee got older. She developed quite the crush on David Bowie."

Mike laughed. "Her and everyone else."

"I busted her kissing him on the TV when the movie was paused." Bigfoot immediately sidestepped through a portal just as Velvet tried to smack him. He reappeared twenty feet in front of them, only to vanish again when she tried to hit him with a snowball.

"Uncle Foot, you take that back!" She was remarkably quick, and her actions upset the Nirumbi watching them. They hooted before vanishing into the woods, leaving only the owl to watch their antics.