Chapter 54 - Home

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PANSY'S POV

Three years into our marriage, we decided to adopt. We had discussed kids way before getting married. It was something she really wanted while I was neutral on the topic.

Truthfully, I never did think about kids. Growing up, it was a compulsion to have kids so that I could please my husband and grow his bloodline. But now, everything was different. Having kids wasn't about getting more Diggorys out in the world for Y/N. No, it was about loving someone who yearned to be loved. For her, it was about accepting someone who did not have a home.

When we talked about it, she told me that she had tons of love to give and she wanted to give it to someone without a home rather than creating something from our genes.

Yeah, I didn't want more Parkinsons in the world either. We've harmed it enough.

Honestly, at that moment when she told me that she had too much love to give, I lost it. And I showed her how much that turned me on by immediately taking her to bed.

"I get it if you don't want that," She whispered as her head was settled on my chest, her hand wrapped around me. "I love you and if you don't see kids in our future, then that's fine too. I only want you."

I curled my fingers under her chin, raising her head so that she could look at me. "And I want you. I just have never thought about it, you know."

"That's okay too," She assured, planting a kiss on my cheek. She repeated the words I said to her on our wedding day. "We've got our whole lives ahead of us, wife."

I chuckled, shaking my head as I mirrored the question I asked her on our wedding night. "You wanna go another round, baby?"

She smiled sweetly, reminiscing her reply. "Always."

***

When I finally thought about it, I didn't think about kids as a responsibility that I had to burden to make a man happy. No, it was about the home that Y/N and I had created accessible for someone who didn't have one. And Merlin, I would have given everything to have parents that loved me but I wasn't ready to share my wife yet.

I knew it was childish and I was terrified of telling her so when I voiced my fears, I expected her to laugh at me. I didn't want kids because I didn't want to share my wife. Draco sure as hell bawled his eyes out with laughter. But Y/N just hugged me and told me...

"No one can replace you, baby," She assured me, "Love comes in so many ways. I love you in a wifely way. I love Cho in a best friend way. I love my brother in a familial way. If we ever decided to have kids, I'll love them in a parental way. No one is gonna get the love I have for you."

"What if I turn out like my family?" I was really concerned about this. "What if we have a kid and I realize that I don't deserve them?"

Y/N placed a hand on my cheek, making me look at her as she stroked her thumb across my face. "The fact that you're scared of this only shows that you're not your parents and I know that you have it in you to break their toxic cycle. You're not their daughter, you're my caring and so, so loving wife and I know you won't harm a child."

"Then let's do it," I decided, "let's adopt."

And that was a year ago. We spent another two months applying to different adoption centers. As a queer couple, it took us longer than heterosexual people to get a pass. But after a few months, we got it too. Y/N was escalated and I... Well, I was scared as fuck.

We finally found an adoption agency, that didn't mind that we were both women.

"Honey!" Y/N called to me as I was attending a customer at our bakery.

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