When Sherlock's eyes locked on John's his breath caught in his throat and he found himself unconsciously leaning towards him. When Sherlock spoke he realised what he was doing and snapped up straight- hands never leaving Sherlock's hair. John nods to acknowledge Sherlock's thank you and smiles slightly down at him. While John was admiring the beauty of Sherlock's features he'd forgotten about his favourite one- Sherlock's eyes. Those galaxy coloured eyes. Those beautiful eyes that see things no one else does. John stared down into them mesmerised then realises he's held eye contact way too long to be appropriate and looks away. Sherlock sighs and nudges in closer to John's stomach, turning to his side to his nose touches John's jumper covered belly. John remembers the thinking position Sherlock was in moments before and suddenly finds it out of character- he only does that when he's on a case, never under normal circumstances, although John would hardly call this normal for them. He can feel Sherlock's mind ticking, thinking hard about something. "What's on your mind?" John asks twisting a single curl around his index finger tugging gently. Sherlock shrugs and shakes his head just slightly enough to notice and brings his hand up to trace random patterns into John's jumper.
Sherlock wants to say "you" but he couldn't dare. That would ruin everything. Sherlock wasn't familiar with these emotions, he though of them as a human error and a chemical defect. But John was beautiful. Completely against the mould. He wanted John to be his and to have him stroke his hair and have Sherlock's scent in his jumpers. He wants to take care of John the way he has. Sherlock wants to say all these things but they'd be inappropriate in their situation. Sherlock makes another note to tell John all this somehow when he feels more like Sherlock Holmes, not sick house cat Sherlock. Sherlock feels sad for a moment. Will John still care for him and show his sweet nature once Sherlock is recovered? Sherlock obviously doesn't want to lose him, his dream only reinforced hat notion. Once he's feeling better he'll somehow get John sick and stroke John's hair. Sherlock laughs but quickly covers his mouth, praying though it was a cough.
John saw that Sherlock tried to stifle a laugh but thought better then to ask what it was about. Since they woke up the tension between them has seemed to be raising- both wanting to say something, but neither of them speaking. John feels overwhelmed with all the emotions he's feeling and need to get his head straight. He politely excuses himself and slips out from underneath Sherlock and quickly escapes to the bathroom, not completely shutting the door behind him. He steadies himself on the bathroom sink and stares down into it numbly as he realises- he's head over heels in love with Sherlock Holmes. His knees feel weak so he sits down on the edge of the bath. What the hell am I going to do, John asks himself. He knows Sherlock will never return these feelings, at least not to the same extent. John wants so bad to just march out there and kiss the life out of Sherlock and make him his but it will ruin everything they have. Their friendship is special, they're closer then most blokes are- a lot closer. But Sherlock would never ant anything more then a close friendship. He'd hate it and find it boring and eventually leave John and John doesn't know if he could handle that. John splashes his face with water and looks at himself in the mirror. What the hell am I going to done asks himself again.
Sherlock is left without his warm pillow and immediately misses the warmth and how John pets his hair. Sherlock stretches and curls up in John's spot where it's warm. He heard John's footsteps retreat towards the bathroom. He missed John. Even though he'd been gone for twenty seconds- Sherlock was counting the seconds- Sherlock wanted to be with him. Sherlock wanted John. His stomached clenched as a fit of coughs enveloped him. Sherlock hoped John want feeling sick because of him, even though he was planning on getting John sick. Sherlock knew he had that doctor immunity, but he could be sick. Sherlock sighed. This is why is isn't a doctor. Or a lover. He knew nothing about biology. How John could be feeling. Sherlock knew there was something bothering John- it was so quiet between them, o many thing left unsaid. Sherlock wanted to tell John how much he cared, how much he enjoyed John- his smell, his smile, his jumpers, when he to doctor mode, how well he could use a gun- the list goes on and on. Sherlock's cheeks were warm thinking about John as a smile crept up on Sherlock's face. He covered his face and laughed. How could John have such a school girl effect on the detective. Sherlock stood up and wrapped the sheet around himself and walked to the bathroom. The door was slightly open so Sherlock took that as an ok to enter. Sherlock knocked nonetheless and peered in, finding John sitting by the bath. "John are you alright?" Sherlock knelt beside John's thighs.
Tears were stinging in John's eyes when Sherlock appeared beside him, worry contorting his features. He quickly wipes his eyes with the back of his hand hoping Sherlock hadn't noticed. "Yeah." John chokes out in almost a sob. Sherlock stares up at John with puppy dog eyes and places a reassuring hand on John's thigh. "John..." Sherlock starts but doesn't finish. The words left unsaid are hanging in the air and they both feel it, that tension that they felt earlier is at breaking point. John smiles sadly at Sherlock and looks down at his feet thinking of something to say to fill this awkward silence.
Sherlock saw how no ok his John was. He rubbed John's thigh and saw his tear stung eyes. "John I'm always here...for you. I know it might not always seem like it. I want you to know how-" Sherlock choked on the words he was trying to say. "much I care about you." Sherlock lifted John's face with his hand, his fingers curling behind John's ear and feeling his short blond hair. John leaned into Sherlock's large hand. Sherlock's thumb wiped away a stray tear. "You are my best friend and I have throughly enjoyed every moment I have shared with you my dear John." Sherlock's own eyes burned with the promise of tears. But Sherlock held fast and smiled, trying to show John he could be strong for him.
YOU ARE READING
Through sickness and health
Fanfiction"oh god John I can't do this!" Sherlock exclaimed. He slammed his hands hard against the leather seat and pulled himself up. He spread his arms out, showing his full wingspan. "John fix me." Sherlock gets sick and John looks after him. Things get pr...
