My Dear First Love,
You were my unexpected. I found you without even looking. My love for you came so suddenly, so quickly; I didn't even realize that I loved you until it was too late. You irrevocably stole my heart and took a piece of it for your own. I wanted so much for you and me. I had everything planned out, right down to our storybook ending. I loved you unconditionally, without reserve. You received the strongest form of love, pure and full of life. You were my first love, and it breaks my heart to know that you won't be the last.
I know you have moved on – I realize that now – and the time has come where I must do the same, even though it pains me to do so. However, before I force myself to close the chapter, I want you to know everything, how much I loved and cared for you, all the sacrifices I was willing to make for you, and every hope and dream I had for us.
I know you may never read this, but perhaps one day, you stumble across this and be reminded of the girl who always had a sparkle in her eyes whenever she saw you.
Looking back, I see now how exciting you made my life. Meeting you was my first great adventure in life. I will never forget the day we met; it was a brisk day at the end of January. I remember how cold it was, but somehow I don't remember it affecting me in the slightest. I remember standing in that dingy room and seeing you watch my every movement from the corner of my eye. You smiled and waved at me, and from that moment, you filled every thought, were whispered in every prayer, and became the sole focus of every hope.
My love, when I think about our first kiss, I am reminded of how magical it was, and every kiss was better than the last. Do you remember kissing me in your truck in that parking garage? It may not have been the most ideal place, but for me, it was perfect. I wouldn't change a single thing about that moment.
Another memory I will always cherish was when you told me how beautiful you thought I was. You said that you wanted me to have the best in you. The truth is, I loved you no matter what, even at your worst. Some people have tried to tell me that I didn't really love you, but what would they know. I knew it was love. Being near you was difficult, but being away was agony. The sound of your voice made my heart do somersaults, and just holding your hand could make me weak in the knees. No sacrifice was enough to keep me from you. What else could it be but love?
I am not saying you are perfect; no one is; we all have our shortcomings and imperfections we would prefer to be kept hidden. But I know you to be a good man, and you have the potential to be a great one someday.
But even good men can hurt someone, whether intentional or not. You've hurt me in a way no one has ever hurt me before. You taught me that love has the ability to do irreversible damage and that it is a risk we all take when we allow ourselves to be swept up with emotions. You, my darling, are the reason why I am now careful with my heart, I entrusted it to you, and that trust was broken. But for all its worth, I still don't regret a single moment I spent with you. My few regrets, I will keep to myself and myself alone.
My regrets are what made it so hard to close the chapter of my life that contained our story. I have to remind myself that that is all you were, a chapter in my incredibly unforgettable life. In closing, I want you to be happy, even if it kills me to say it may not be with me. I hope you live a long and happy life surrounded by children and grandchildren with a girl who makes all your dreams a reality. I have concluded that no matter how much you love someone, you can never make them love you as much or as passionately as I did you.
They say we all have three loves; the first is unexpected, powerful, passionate, and young. The second comes along to teach you a lesson that your first love did not. The second teaches you that you need to love yourself if you want to love someone else. And the third finally comes along and sweeps you off your feet. Sometimes, if we're lucky, your first love one day becomes your last.
The future is always uncertain, and who knows, maybe one day you'll find yourself searching for the girl who always had a sparkle in her eyes whenever you looked at her. Until then, I hope you are living life to its fullest.
You were my first love, and it breaks my heart to know that you won't be the last. I count myself lucky to have met you, to have loved you, and to have shared the little moments.
Thank you for being my first love.I loved you then – I love you still.
