her love

l.a.

i'm mad. this isn't how i envisioned my summer- away from my best friend. the only person who knows my secret. this isn't what i want. this is unfair- i get it she wants to pursue her career. but i need her here so we can do the same thing we do every year. but at least we're together? what if she meets someone- not that that would uh- matter.
it would to your lesbian heart. especially since you have a crush on her~~~
enough with you. i don't want to hear it anymore. maybe i do like her? ugh- i'm so upset.
"are you there AI?", she questions me.
"yeah. yeah i am- that sounds amazing. i'm so happy for you. i'll go. with you. not to la- to um. you know to the-", she stops my word vomit.
"i know.", she says.
———
"hey mind if i spend the night?" emma asks.
"uh- yeah that's fine." i respond back to her as we walk up the steps to my house.
where's moms car? where's dads?
we walk in- putting our stuff down on the table.  i wander around the house calling out for my parents. emma's sorting out what she needs to put in the laundry. i find a note-
your dad works tonight, my love. he just got called in. and emma's mom invited me over for some wine- however i don't feel comfortable driving home so i'm going over there and i'll see you in the morning. i love you so much!! - mom
what the fu "where's your mom?" emma questions me as she comes around the kitchen island.
"i guess she's with your mom. so we have the house to our self. she left us about 100 dollars for food. what do you feel like?" i feel giddy. like the feeling on christmas eve- this is what i want my summer to feel like. it can only feel like this with her. with her smile. with her love.
———
we ordered sushi and watched kuwtk and other trash tv. we bundle up together since my father insists on keeping the house -2 degrees. it's about 11:30- and we're sitting on my bed. i'm reading a book and she's on her phone. i have the lights down low and her phone light provides good enough reading light for me.
"are you going to tell your parents? or your mom?" emma breaks the silence.
"hmm maybe. i'll probably wait until i have a significant other." i think thats best.
she just nods and wraps her arm around mine.
"what's your type?"
"huh?" is she being for real?
"you know- what kinda woman would you date? o-okay- not even date. kiss."
"i don't know. someone taller than me. long-ish hair. someone who knows me." that's good right? 
jesus just kiss her already
shhhhhh~
"oh. so you don't have a crush on anyone?"