Roses: a jily fanfic

got myself disowned

//this chapter will mention abuse and wounds, I'll put a warning before it starts

third person pov
"WHY TF IS YOUR UNIFORM IN MY TRUNK SIRIUS"
"how do you know it's my uniform moony"
"well, peter is too short for these, James is too tall and they're definitely not mine seeing I'm the tallest here, so they're obviously yours you goblin"
"HEY, I'm not that short"
"hm sure"
Remus threw the uniform across the dorm and pat the shorter boy's head while smirking before leaving the room.
Sirius just stood there, surprised, staring at the wall trying to comprehend what just happened. he slowly turned around to look at the mirror and reached for his hair, a small smile forming on his face.
"watcha doing pads, who got all dreamy"
"What-  oh um hey James"
"hey dumbass, tell me about your crush when you realize it's actually not platonic will ya"
"oh fuck off"
They faked fighting until they both ended up on the floor with tears in their eyes and their stomachs hurting from laughing.
"I'm gonna miss you this summer prongs"
"I'll find a way to make my mom convince yours to let you stay over"
sirius knew it would be very unlikely but he also knew he should never underestimate james potter.

the four boys sat in their usual compartment, not saying a word but knowing they will regret it later and wish they had talked more when they still could. the trolley lady passed by and they all bought different kinds of sweets and snacks and shared them silently.
an hour has passed and the silence became unbearable to Sirius -who should be quite used to the silence because he had no one other than himself to talk to in his so called home-
"cmon guys, we're not gonna stay silent the entire ride, I'll go get the girls from the other compartment, you better think of something fun to do" sirius said.

remus pov:
sirius' deep voice made me snap out of my thoughts, i zoned out again. i couldn't understand why i have been finding myself constantly day dreaming lately. it was pretty unusual.
my day dreams were always filled with my grey eyed roommate. i knew my feelings aren't really platonic, but I'll have plenty of time to think about it back home. i smiled at him as he left the compartment and tried to read a book. the words didn't make sense and no matter how hard i tried to focus, i kept zoning out while thinking of him. his eyes. his voice. his hands. his smile. his laugh. just him

(time skip cz i genuinely dont know how to write abt the train ride)

! tw: mention of abuse!
sirius pov
i needed to run. now. i could hear my mother yelling downstairs. i think she's fighting with a portrait. she just mispronounced a word, i want to laugh but my ribs hurt too much. I'm sure they're atleast somewhat bruised. focus sirius, focus.
the bag, the money, the letter for regulus, the wand, the door. you've thought about it before sirius, you can do it.
im right, i can do it. the rush of adrenalin made me oblivious to the severe physical pain i suppose i should be in. i was too busy trying to check my mother's footsteps while silently opening the window to even focus on anything else. i left the letter for regulus in the little empty space under that specific tile in front of my room. im sure he would check it soon.
i start hearing footsteps just as im about to leave through the window. they were lighter than my mother's, and lighter than my father's but too heavy to be kreature's. that's reg.
he silently opened the door and looked around my room with a cold and rather emotionless look on his face. that is until he noticed me half hiding behind the curtains with a bag obviously on my back and my wand ready in my hand.
we locked eyes and we stood there for atleast 5 minutes without saying a word to each other. his eyes said it all though. he was begging me to stay, not to leave him alone here with these monsters. the look in his eyes clearly indicated that he knew i was silently begging him to leave with me. he knew i couldn't stay, he understood that. he also knew he couldn't leave and i understood that. his eyes still begged me to stay though. i whispered "hey man i love you but no fucking way"
my mother's nearing footsteps broke our prolonged eye contact and i quickly slipped a locket in his hand. my father, Orion, gave it to on my 13th birthday. it was a family heirloom and i only wore it because it had a certain energy that made it oddly comforting. ever since i was a kid, i would stare at it through the glass that protected it.
i managed to cut out a picture of me and reg together when we were children and kept it im there. i knew he would need it more than i would, i had a fake one anyways.
the fake one was only made for a prank against filch, but i kept it just in case.

after running for a few minutes, i started to realize in how much pain im actually in. every breath i try to take burns my throat and lungs. the cool air felt good against the burns on my arms and chest. i only just realized my shirt got ripped sometime during my fight with my mother. i don't even remember what started it.
i knew the potter's mansion was my only option. but after an hour of torturous running, my head started feeling funny, i must have lost too much blood. i was so close to the mansion, i couldn't give up now. my vision started to blur and i could barely hold myself up. the last thing i remember before passing out is the dark huge doors of my best firend's mansion.

this is short and pretty shitty but yk the random waves of motivation
this entire chapter was inspired by 'twin size mattress' by the front bottoms and i included a lyric so like yeah
-spencer