little fox

4

after Zoey finished her encouragement barrage and calmed down, we ordered KFC because chicken and chick-fil-a is homophobic, and as a non-binary, genderfluid pansexual, I don't eat at places that donate money to people who want to take away my rights as a human being.

"Why did you run from them, darling?" I pause, setting down my tea and clasping my hands together, elbows on my knees. I stared at them as I bounced my left leg up and down. my eyes cloud over as I think of how to best tell her about my terror of joining my mates. I take a deep breath.

"When I was fourteen," I start, hair falling in front of my face, creating a screen between us. "Kay and Charles forced me into telling them about my sexuality and gender. they didn't like it, and combined with my 'behavioral issues,' they decided that I needed to get snapped out of my 'rebellious teenager phase.' so they sold me to HYDRA. they told the scientists to do anything they wanted, as long as I came back 'straightened out,' not obviously different, or mentally handicapped." I felt the fear, constant terror, file back into my mind. I push it aside. "they experimented on my soul marks. they tortured me for information on them, even though we'd never met. but- as much as they tortured me, I never broke. They brought in a psychologist and figured out that knowing I had so many soulmates gave me strength, and as they were all very mentally strong people, the way they were going about it was never going to work. so they chipped me. they knocked me unconscious and planted a microchip in my brain. the chip sends out signals, making me physically incapable of defying a soulmate," I finish. I take a big gulp of my tea. "I hate it. I want to hug and kiss them. I want them to hold me while I cry. I want to be able to live my life with my soulmates, and trust them, but- but I don't know if I can. my mind just won't let me," I whisper, tears sliding down my cheeks silently. Zoey gets up and sits next to me.

"you need to talk to them, love. they can help you, but only if you tell them." I start crying harder. "Do you want to call them?" I think for a few seconds.

"Yeah. but not tonight. tomorrow morning," I whisper. she smiles softly and nods.

"You know where the bathroom is, go take a bath and come back here. we're going to watch some movies." She gets up and starts putting away food and tea. I take the clothes I need out of one of my bags. As I walk to the bathroom, I think of what I want to say to them. 'Hey, sorry I jumped out of a moving car to get away from you, I'm a bit mentally unstable and traumatized, but I promise it won't happen again'? I don't think so. Sitting on the rim of the tub as it filled, I unwrap the tape on my arms. Taking out the Hydrogen peroxide, I pour it on the cuts, cleaning out any infections that had started to form. I get in the tub and wash myself off.

After getting out, I grab my towel and start drying off and getting dressed. Looking in the mirror, I studied myself. Long, blood-red hair, and ice-blue eyes. Pale, snow-white skin, with freckles splattered gently over my button nose and scars crossing over my back, stomach, breasts, thighs, and forearms. I guess I could be described as pretty, in a pale, broken kind of way. If you didn't mind the scars. I let out my tail and ears, relaxing into my natural state. Snow white fur, smooth and soft as silk, a stark contrast to the blood-red of my hair. My pupils dilated to slits, and my eyes glowed slightly. I looked much prettier this way. I sigh and change from the shorts into leggings and put on a plain black sweatshirt, and walked out. 

Zoey looks up from the couch, which was now covered in pillows and floofy blankets. on the coffee table were bowls of marshmallows, popcorn, chocolate chips, and m&m's. i padded over and flopped down next to her. she pressed play on the remote, and started braiding my hair. i fall asleep to the rhythm of her fingers brushing through my hair.

A/N: sorry for the shorter chapter guys, I've had a really shitty last few days. today was the 8th anniversary of my mom's death, and my legal guardians don't help too much with that, seeing as they are homophobic and transphobic, and I'm fluid and pan. anyways, stay happy and safe!