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THEY RETURNED TO THEIR HOTEL ROOM AFTER JIYEON BROKE DOWN.
She hadn't stopped crying on their way to the hotel. People turned their heads to look at her sobbing state, some looking in pity, others staring in question. Jiyeon wasn't afraid to cry in public.
People's whispers fell deaf against her ears. Their judgement reaching the barricade she had built around herself ━ only Heeseung had made it inside.
His arm had a tight grip around her while they walked towards their hotel room, steps slow. He did not wish to rush her.
Oh, how fragile she felt in his hands. A porcelain doll, ready to break if you did one mistake.
'Can I have my cigarettes now?' her voice was croaked.
'Sit with me.'
He led her over to the bed, ignoring her question. Sitting down at the edge of the bed, the tears continued to run down her cheeks. His hand, warm and comforting, rubbing small circles in her palm.
They wouldn't stop. Leaving a burning trail on her cheeks.
'Are you sad?'
'I don't know.'
'Do you want me to get you anything?'
'No.'
'I'll go to the store and buy you a chocolate bar. Do you want anything to drink?'
'No.'
'Just water it is.'
He stood up, hand leaving hers. She had not moved a centimetre, frozen in place. A porcelain doll, fragile to the touch; sharp once broken. Before pressing a kiss to her cheek, his thumbs made their way to her tears stained cheeks. Gently drying her tears with a soothing hum leaving his lips, a lullaby, pleasing to her ears.
'I'll be back in no time.'
She didn't reply.
With a sigh, he turned his heels and began making his way to the door.
'I don't want to die,' she called out after him.
Her voice stopped him dead in his tracks. She saw the way his shoulders relaxed as he exhaled a long breath.
'I know, Jiyeon. I know.'
She swallowed hard, forcing the lump down her throat. 'Because I'm afraid.'
Heeseung turned around, facing her with a knowing smile.
'I know.'
Lifting her hands, she used the back of them to dry her tears. 'How?'
'Because we're friends, are we not?'
Jiyeon wasn't sure how she was supposed to respond. It had been some time since she last had a friend.
'Right.'
'I'll be right back, don't die on me.'
'I won't,' she replied, forcing a smile to her lips.
He left shortly, leaving Jiyeon alone to her own thoughts. She wasn't sure what to feel. The world would not care if she left, no one would. Heeseung might've, but he was young and he would move on. He would be happy, with or without her.
Her mother wouldn't care.
If anything, she would be happy that Jiyeon was gone. One less child.
Her half brother ━ the one she got after her mother remarried was in no shape or form better than Jiyeon. While they didn't talk, she knew he was close to his breaking point. One final push and he'd let go of his world.
Some people truly weren't meant to have children.
Last time Jiyeon spoke to her mother, she had been called a selfish coward. For what? For wanting to take her own life? For going against her own survival instincts? For wanting to go against thousands of years of evolution. Jiyeon wanted to laugh in her face. Clearly, mother dearest had never felt depression anymore.
Jongseob.
That poor boy ━ her half brother.
He was equally as broken as Jiyeon and half as dead as Jisung.
Sighing, she ran her hand over her lower arm. Fingertips dancing against her pale skin, almost ticking her. Scars, many of them filled her lower arm. She hadn't cut herself in a few days, she hadn't smoked and she had eaten a lot more than she usually would.
Dear, Heeseung was doing something to her.
The door opened but Jiyeon paid no attention to it, knowing that it was Heeseung. Looking up at him, she saw that his eyes were trained on her arms. It was the first time he'd see them but he made no comment.
'Here,' he said and handed her the chocolate bar and the water bottle.
Her lips curled into a thankful smile as she took hold of the chocolate and water.
'You didn't have to,' she said.
'I know, but I wanted to,' he answered with a small shrug.
'Thank you. Really, Heeseung. Thank you for everything.'
'No need to thank me,' he said, taking a seat beside her.
'No need to buy this for me,' Jiyeon said, referring to the chocolate and the bottle of water in her hands.
'Fair enough.'
The air turned silent, a comforting feeling wrapping itself like a blanket around the two. Moving close to each other, Heeseung wrapped an arm around Jiyeon, bringing her body close to his before falling down onto the mattress, pulling her with him.
