Children of Night and Snow

46. When All You Know Burns To Ashes

When Nolan said a few hours, he really meant nearly 24 of them. It was the next day when he returned, thankfully with the twins in tow and I was utterly exhausted by then because there was no chance I'd sleep when the three of them weren't home. Not at times like this. Devan insisted I try to get some rest, but I refused and kept watch the whole night instead, my eyes glued to the door, my ears listening for a sign that Nolan was back, for the rogues, for more screams of horrified strangers, for anything at all. Not even the howling wind which I grew so used to could sing me to sleep that night.

The moment Nolan, Az and Aaron returned, I jumped into Nolan's arms, kissing him, holding him close. He seemed a bit amused with my reaction, but said nothing. Maybe he didn't want to mock me and my irrational fears. Maybe it was because once I was in his arms, the familiar smell of damp stones and summer rain hit me once again and I was asleep in seconds. And when I woke up, I was lying comfortably in Nolan's arms in our bed. Az and Aaron a bit comically spread around the remaining space passed out as well.

This incident somehow accidentally created a pattern where we switched around in groups. Devan, Connor, Demi and Lucia slept at night while Az, Aaron, Nolan and I slept during day hours. This meant we had company during our watches. And with the constant darkness, it really didn't matter as much to me. We barely left the house as well. Lucia and Demi did go out once to grab some food for the group, but other than that, we stayed put. And we weren't the only ones. The entire town at least as far as I could hear seemed eerily silent. People choosing to remain at home and wait out the danger rather than risk being caught outside when all hell breaks loose. This created a strange feeling within me. I was still scared and anxious about whatever was coming, yet I also wanted it to be over with at the same time. I just wanted to go back to our usual routines. It didn't even occur to me that what was coming would take all that away forever.

Five days later we were playing cards when they came. I was laughing at Aaron and his bad luck when we heard the sirens cut through the freezing winter night. They were followed by loud bangs, screams and cries. I completely froze with fear. Suddenly any other thoughts I had about all this left me and I was stuck only with paralyzing fear of what we were facing. If others felt the same, they didn't show it. Az was the one who grabbed my hand and dragged me down to the basement, leaving the stack of cards and our mugs with coffee lying on the floor where we sat only seconds ago. Aaron and Nolan woke up the rest of the group and once we were all downstairs, they sealed the entrance above us.

"Won't they see it if they come inside? The entrance I mean," I asked, watching Nolan and Aaron work the lock system.

"Not at the first sight. The top is covered in fur just like our floor. Unless they know exactly what they are looking for, they won't see it," Devan explained and yawned. Demi and Lucia went straight to a corner where a makeshift bed was made a few days ago. They just carried on in their sleep almost immediately, ignoring all the muffled sounds from above us. Connor followed them shortly after.

"Fuck, I forgot the cards," Nolan hissed.

"Too late for that now," Aaron shrugged it off.

"Yeah, of course the loser doesn't mind the spoiled fun," Nolan mumbled and I couldn't help but chuckle at the exchange.

"Well, I'm going back to sleep as well. Don't need to stick around for whatever this argument is," Devan said and went to join the other three in the corner. Aaron merely rolled his eyes at him.

"How long will this last for?" I asked once we all went quiet, listening to the carnage above us.

"A few hours? Maybe days? Depends on when our useless alpha gets his shit together and pushes them back out where they belong," said Nolan. He walked over to me and led us over to another corner to sit down, his closeness bringing me comfort I much needed.

"Az, brother, I know what you're thinking but there are likely way too many of them to have any actual fun and still walking away with all limbs," Aaron watched his twin brother, who was staring at the door, listening to the mess outside and frowning. I gave both brothers a questioning look. Did they want to actually go outside into this madness? I knew we were all fighters in this group. I may have been the weakest link, but we were all more than capable of taking on another wolf and walking away victorious. Still, the idea of going out there was pure insanity.

"Aaron's right. Not worth risking ourselves in any way. Not for this rotten place," Nolan added.

"Do you mean you'd go out and fight if it were somewhere else?" I asked my boyfriend, curious.

"I'd go out and fight if something or someone I care for were on the line. But you are right here. And so is our family," he replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the World. Which it was. I would have fought too if he was out there. If any of them was. I knew them for such a short time, but in all this mess called my life, they were my everything. They took me in, saved my life and taught me how to survive in this place. They placed their trust in me when really I could have easily betrayed them. They were here for me, when I had no one. They considered me family. And during this last week, I realized I felt the same.

It was the realization that they really didn't care about this place. This corrupted town on the edge of Winterlands, so close to the deadly Frozen Wastes, full of criminals and rogues roaming its underground, all because the black market they kept alive kept the pockets of rich locals full. Maybe that's why the alpha didn't really take much precautions against the uprising despite being well aware it was coming. Whoever he was, he probably didn't care about the small people on the poor side of Duskfall. People like us, who had to steal, lie and cheat to get at least somewhat decent life. We were nothing but an annoyance. We were ruining his already crooked business. If we died during this stunt, it would be like getting rid of pests for him. The thought made me disgusted. No, it was no wonder they didn't care. I wasn't sure if I cared either.

"They set the house on fire," Az spoke suddenly and heavy silence followed. The four of us now sat there, in loss for words as we all became well aware of the cracking sound of fire right above us. Our house, our home was burning down. And there was nothing we could do to prevent it. I held back tears thinking of all those little things I cherished about the place. The cozy fur everywhere, the books with fairy tales which I grew accustomed to reading during my spare time, silly mugs with drawings of dragons which Demi and Lucia brought from the market about three months ago and were all too excited about, but Devan called them utterly ridiculous and refused to drink from them. The cards we left on the floor as we ran for shelter. The skylight I spent so many hours looking out of, getting lost in the stars above, dreaming and missing my childhood home.

And as I thought of all that, I panicked. My photos! The three memories I had left. They were still hidden away in the black little pouch, where I've kept them. But where was it?! Did I leave it upstairs? Will they burn with everything else?! Much to the boys' confusion, I scrambled to my feet and began furiously looking through my clothes and other stuff we stashed down here during our preparations.

"Please, be here, please. No, no, no..." I whispered, tears now streaming down my cheeks as I came to realize that my little pouch wasn't there. I couldn't find it. I must have stayed upstairs.

"Sweetheart, what's going on?" Nolan approached me and tried to calm me down.

"I... the photos... I..." I sobbed, unable to voice what was going on. The thought of the last remaining pieces of my past being rendered to ashes sent me into a full panic attack. I couldn't lose them. Not now. Not yet. I wasn't ready to let them go.

Az approached us silently and crouched next to me. I wasn't really aware of his presence until the moment he pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to me. A familiar black pouch. He said nothing as he took my hand and placed the precious thing in my hand. I stared at him in utter shock. He saved it. Somehow, during the chaos when I froze upstairs, he found it and grabbed it without even knowing what it was. With my shaking hand I opened it to see the three photos intact right there. And I cried again, this time for a different reason as I threw myself around his neck and hugged him as tight as I could.