He died 178 years ago | Damon Salvatore |

Chapter One

Dear Diary,

I'm drowning.

I feel like I'm stuck under water. And I can't get back to shore because I'm stuck, chained here, like a prison.

I'm in pain, every single dang morning and I still wake up and smile. No matter how I'm feeling, smiling is my job. I honestly cannot wait for the day when I can finally be at peace and not feel so much pain everyday. The truth is, I'm surrounded by people, lots of people, yet I still feel so alone. I'm surrounded by my best friends, Bonnie, Elena and Caroline. Yet, I sit in silence whilst the others talk, my silence is just another word for my pain. Yet they never realise. They only ever worry about Elena because of the death of her parents. I cannot protect myself from sadness without protecting myself from happiness. But I can't feel happiness. Because I'm stuck. Okay, I'm stuck and. I have no idea how to get out. My own thoughts are drowning me and I can't escape them. This is the only place I can tell someone my problems, this diary is the closest I get to a friend. At times my mind will wander off to how my parents are doing, I hope they're doing well. Going back to today, I spent practically the entire lunch and break sat in the library reading. It was peaceful and quiet.

Agh, I have to go Aunt Jenna finished cooking dinner.

Goodbye.

"Coming Auntie!" I shouted as I closed my diary and raced down stairs. I ran into the dining room to see Elena, Jeremy and Jenna sitting at the table. "Cmon, sit down already Y/n." Jenna said with her usual sweet smile. I smiled back at her and sat opposite Jenna. "Thank you for dinner Auntie." I smiled as I picked up my knife and fork and started cutting the steak. "No problem sweetheart." Jenna smiled as she began to eat her own. "Oi!" I raised my voice as I raised from my seat. Elena, Jeremy and Jenna all looked at me with a confused expression on their faces. "Jenna cooked this for us, you could at least say thank you to her, don't be so damn disrespectful!" I shouted as I slapped Jeremy lightly around the back of the head I went over to Elena and smacked her around the head only a little stronger than the slap on Jeremy's head. "Say thank you." I said, sternly. "Thank you Auntie." Jeremy and Elena said, as Elena glared at me. Jenna looked at me with a 'Thank You' expression and I just smiled. Thank You Jenna, for being the closest thing I've ever had to a mother. I thought. My parents never really cared for me they only cared for elena. You see me and Elena are what you call, Irish Twins. We were born the same year, the same calendar. But we were 10½ months apart. We're in the same grade in school, I'm just 10 months older than her. So I'm the oldest Gilbert sibling. But no matter how hard I tried, they only ever cared for Elena, she was always the favourite child, I was always somehow the least favourite child but Jenna was always there for me when my parents weren't ever there for me. So she's always been the closest thing to a mother for me.

—

All our chores were done, we had finished dinner. I sat on the sofa, with a glass of red wine in my hand, I was swirling the wine around in the glass. I'm not old enough yet to drink alcohol but of course I still do. As I turned the glass, the wine swirled around mixing up its flavour. The TV played but I wasn't listening to what they were saying all I heard were animal attacks. I shrugged it off and took a sip of the wine. A sip after a sip, until the glass was empty. Only to fill my glass back up and repeate sipping the wine.