My Ed

I lay on my bed imagining scenarios that involve me meeting my hero Ed Sheeran, I get a text.
The text reads, "Verizon Msg. You're almost out of data you have  10% with 1 day left." I'm not surprised by this  text considering I spend a fair amount of my time looking at pictures of Ed Sheeran where ever i go; the car, vacations, movie theaters, and especially school.
Ed Sheeran is my idol, my muse, throughout my entire house his face is plastered all over the walls; my friends idolize people who are "world leaders" or "actually do something useful" and they tell me that Ed Sheeran is a terrible person to idolize but i don't listen to them, my heart wants what it wants and all my heart wants, is Ed. I practically cry myself to sleep every night thinking about how I'll never be able to meet my idol but tonight everything was about to change.
I woke up on this day as if it were like no other, I had breakfast, I got dressed, and was on my way to school, but on my way something terrible happened. When i was driving I wasn't paying attention and crashed into someone's front gate, the airbag inflated, knocking me out cold. When I awoke I noticed that I wasn't in my car anymore, I was tied to a chair in an old shack, with "Shape of you" by Ed Sheeran playing in the back, Of corse I knew what it was right away because that was one of my favorite Ed Sheeran songs of all time.  I hear shuffling coming from what seems to be the bedroom of this shack and a man steps into the doorway, he's too backlit, I am unable to recognize his face, but when he moves closer into the light, I can finally recognize him.
The man standing just three feet away from me in this shack was none other than Ed Sheeran himself. I was shocked. I couldn't believe that it was really him. What do I say? What do I ask my all time idol? What do I ask the love of my life? All i can do is sit in silence and shock as these questions wander my mind. I watch as he unties me from the chair, his fingers smell so bad but I inhale the scent aggressively hoping he doesn't notice.
He grunts like some sort of neanderthal and gestures me towards a rickety table lit by a single light bulb, on the table lays what seems to be a mutilated rotisserie chicken. I sit at the table as he sits across from me finally speaking his first words, "eat." all he has to do is say one word before I immediately gobble down the chicken he has prepared. He looks at me in awe as I scarf the chicken down, barely taking a breath in between my overwhelming bites. He speaks to me once more before getting up and going to the bedroom to grab a stereo system, "Wait here," he says. Ed's voice is raspy and hoarse, it makes me wanna melt in my chair, I'm able to keep it together until he comes back before the reality of the situations sets in; I ask Ed where he came from and how he found me after I crashed, he tells me that he was walking from his shack to get more buttermilk from the store when he saw me crashed into the gate, he heard "Photograph" playing from my car stereo and rushed to help his injured fan, he told me I was lucky I was uninjured and that he was glad to have me in his shack.
A few hours with Ed had passed and I had told him how I've been such a big fan for so many years, he expressed his gratitude in a series of his neanderthal grunts, all of which making me want to melt again.
Ed gestures me over to the stereo system he had previously brought out, and he starts playing "Perfect" he holds my hand as we start dancing, but after a while he pulls me in by my hips and whispers in my ear; "I'm in love with the shape of you." before spitting into my mouth with his acid like spit, I swallowed it. His spit tasted like battery acid but I didn't care because it was Ed Sheeran and I wasn't about to waste my chance. After our dance, he took me into a dark room and tied me to another chair. I thought he was going to come back after he left but I sat in the darkness awaiting his return, I know someday, somehow, he'll be back. My Ed.