Dr Shepherd

Wheres Ameilia?

TW//
self harm and drinking

"Yea let's talk..." Amelia said "I'll talk to you once I get home later today so please be there when I get home..."

"Of course Amelia I'll meet you there.." I said I knew what time her shift ended today and it was in about two hours so I just decided I would go to the house now so I headed over there and I just went and sat inside waiting for Amelia.

Amelias shift had been over for an hour but she was still not there yet.. wheres amelia.. I decided to check her location and she was at Joes.. so I quickly grabbed my stuff and I quickly drove there and I saw Amelia sitting at the bar downing drink after drink and she was really drunk. She just wouldn't stop. I was mad but I also couldn't be mad becuase once I got over to her I noticed how helpless and broken she looked. I went over to her and grabbed her arm

"Amelia! What the hell are you doing here!" I say to her

She pulls her hand out of my grip "drinking" she says

"Amelia! We were supposed to talk!" I say

"I don't wanna talk to you!" She says pushing me away from her

"Amelia.. is there anything I can do to make you leave!" I say

"Nope" she says having another drink

I put my hand on her shoulder in a comforting way "can I just stay with you?" I ask

She pushes ny hand away and just ignores my question.

I put my hands in a fist and my fingernails are digging into the palms of my hands it's easy to tell this is leaving marks on my hands...

"Amelia please!" I say "if I can't talk to you can I at least sit with you so I can drive you home tonight?"

"No y/n!" She snaps "just go away I don't want you!" She sounded angry and also a little bit confused. I just looked at her for a second before running as fast as I could out of the building

The whole time I was running her words were going through my head "go away.. I don't want you" "I don't want you" does she not want me anymore? Is she drinking like this cause of me? I try to make it look like I hadn't been crying and I head to the hospital.. I walk in and begin to work I'm on Arizona's service. She notices that my hands keep going into fists but she doesn't say anything or think anything of it.

"Hey where's Amelia?" Arizona asks apparently everyone already knew you and Amelia were a thing again.

"Uhh.. Amelia is at home.." I say lying

"Oh ok" she says

"I'll be right back Dr. Robbins" i say and then go into the bathroom. I stand in front of the mirror and just start crying. Amelia doesn't want me anymore is all I can think of. Amelia is over me.. she's sick of me.. I see a peice of glass from the mirror on the ground and pick it up and.. you start c*tying on your wrists when you hear the bathroom door and drop the glass and cover them with your sleeves.

"Dr. Harper?" I hear Arizona "you ok?"

"I-I'm fine!" I say

Arizona's POV//
(A few minutes before)

Y/n had been gone for a few minutes so I decided to go check on her.. I walked in and she was standing by the mirror I knew what she had been doing cause I saw the peice of glass falling but I didn't confront her instead I texted Amelia.. but for some reason she didn't answer me..

"You know what Y/n you can go home you seem upset go get some rest I'll see you tomorow." I say

"Bye Arizona" she says and then quickly leaves

Amelias POV //
After what I had said to y/n and she bolted out joe started refusing to give me more to drink and he called y/n to bring me home and a few minutes later there she was looking really upset by the time she had gotten here I was a bit more sober and I realized she was upset about what I said to her and I felt bad.

She walked in and helped me to the car and drove us home. She tried to walk away from me but I grabbed her arm which made her jump back in pain.

"What's wrong princess?" I ask her still really drunk

"Nothing my wrist has just been bothering me.."

"Ok.." I say "I'm really sorry for whay I said.."

"It's fine can we just go to bed?" She asks clearly upset

"Yea let's go.." I say and we go to her room and lay down but instead of sleeping we just talk.

We're talking and she seems to be a better mood snd im a bit more sober and I reach over and grab my phone but as I'm grabbing it I notice the palms of y/ns hands are all red and covered in marks I don't say anything until I have my ohone bevuase the minute I open it I see a message from Arizona

Arizona: y/n was c*tting herself in the bathroom so I let her go home she doesn't know j saw her.

"Princess..." I say in a concerned yet calm voice

"What?" She says and looks up at me with a very helpless look in her eyes and I don't know what to say to her...

"Princess.. let me see your hands.." i say

She quickly puts her hands behind her back and looks me directly in my eyes and I see a look of sadness in them

"Darling..." I say "please.."

Y/n brings her hands back out from behind her back and shows them to me and there all red with marks from her fingers in them..

"Oh baby.." I say taking her hands in mine holding her close to me "why'd you do this?"

"I just do that sometimes when I'm to overwhelmed with emotion.. or anger" she says

Did she do this cause of me?

"Is this cause of me princess?" I ask her

She nods slowly which makes a tear fall down my face.

"I'm so sorry darling of course I want you I always want you... but please don't hurt yourself ever again.. I'm here for you through everything and anything underhand?" I say

She just nods slowly and looks at me I think she knows I know everything of what she did

"Are you mad at me" she says upset "for being pregnant? Or for what I did today?"

"I'm not mad at you for any of it.. I'll be here for you, and mark, and the baby through this all.. and as for what you did.." I say

"Im not mad at you.. I'm more mad at myself for bringing you to do it" I say

She just puts her head into my chest and wraps her arms around me. I rest my head on her shoulder and bring her into my lap and stroke her hair

"I'm here for you princess.. I'm always here for you" I say "no matter what happens I'll never hurt you again.."