My Keeper

One

EMPTY.

The word flashed in 2301's head over... and over again. The feeling of emptiness that she had as she felt out the meaning of each syllable of the word.

Empty.

Empty of thoughts. She had seen children here, but she never remembered being a child. She had been outside and saw people walking in silly outfits different then 2301's plain white dress with a white collar. How did she even get here? If she was born here, why couldn't she remember the life of a child?

Empty of pain. She looked down at the bleeding cuts on her arms that she inflicted on herself. She was desperate to feel something; desperate to feel anything. The only feelings she knew was the sting of the knife when she pressed it into her skin. The throb of her wrist as red liquid dripped out.

Empty of feelings. No love, no hate, no happiness. She was completely empty. She had the appeal of a person, but only felt as if she were the outer shell of an actual human. There wasn't a soul in this shell. Inside the shell was an empty cave that held nothing in store.

She wouldn't say she missed these thoughts or feelings, because she had never really had them in the first place. They had always just been...gone. There was nothing to miss.

2301 walked down the halls of the place she called home, passing by other empty shells in the same white clothing as she. They were all trapped in this building, never allowed to go outside unless the instructors were with them.

On her adventures outside with the instructors, she had seen children with two older people that loved the child and would hold it in, what was the word, a hug? They would place their mouths on the children's cheek that 2301 had yet to realize why. But what she really didn't understand was why she didn't have people that loved her like that. She only had other acquaintances that were incapable of feeling, and instructors head to toe in inky black, which would only look at her with scowls on their prune faces.

When 2301 walked into the main room, she looked around blankly at the blank faces looking back at her. They all had their cups of medicine in their hands as they drank their energizer. Every day they would drink it, but sometimes, 2301 would skip the energizer. The instructors said that this drink is what gave them energy for the day, but when 2301 would secretly drain the liquid down the sink, she was welcomed with a strange fatigue in her stomach. She suddenly craved for the energizer. Something to calm the strange noises from her stomach, calling out for the energizer. She would get weak and tired. The next day when they got their energizer, she would drink it more urgently which confused the other humans.

"Your medicine, 2301," she heard an instructor say, handing her a cup with blue pebbles in it. 2301 turned to the older instructor with gray hair and wrinkles and accepted the cup from her. 2301 always wondered when her hair would turn gray or when she would get a wrinkle just like the nuns. 2301 was different with long dirty-blonde hair that reached her waist and dark blue eyes with no emotion behind them.

Emotion.

She had seen it on her adventures outside. The happy faces of people walking by, and she didn't understand. Why were they smiling like that? She had also seen liquid spill from the outside peoples eyes. Fat, wet drops spilling down their cheeks. She had only experienced something similar to that once. Her cuts had once gotten extra red, and filled with a yellow creamy substance which made her stomach revolt at the look. The pain in her arms increased tremendously. She was surprised when she felt something sting her eyes before sliding down her cheek, almost without any conscious effort.