My Super, Wonderful, Extra Special Day

Before The Day

This story is a work of fiction. Any similarities to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. (But if this sounds like it could be about you, I'd love to hear about it.) 

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Twenty-eight February, two years ago, marks the day my mom came around to full acceptance of who I am and what was happening to me.

This is my story.

Ultimately it all goes back to my birth, but to make a long story . . . short . . . well, ok, shorter I will begin on thirty-one October, three years ago.

I was a fifteen years old male. It was Halloween night and I was in the process of dressing myself in some of my older sisters clothes.

I was getting ready to go out and walk up and down the streets of the neighborhood, hanging out with my friends and sneaking drinks of alcohol. Just like we had done every year since we had decided we were too old to actually trick or treat. Too old to knock on doors but not too old to still dress up, mind you.

I had been working on my costume for well over an hour and was just finishing up my look when Mom walked in.

The first thing she did was make a comment on how, every year, for the past 4 years I had dressed up as a girl for Halloween night.

She said, "it's rather odd to me how you don't just throw on a dress for Halloween like any other guy would do. No, you take as much time getting ready to go out as your sister getting ready for a date."

She continued by pointing out, "You fuss over your hair and makeup like a teen girl, and nothing like a guy just dressing like a girl for laughs. You make it look like you really wanna pass as a real girl. You know, as a matter of fact, this year, you look almost exactly like your sister did when she was your age. It's adorable but starting to concern me that you enjoy it so much."

"The truth is," I told her, "where's the fun in just looking like an uncomfortable dude in a dress. It's much more fun to fool people and then see the shocked or unbelieving reaction on their faces when they are told I'm a boy."

I have her a pink lipstick colored grin.

Yes, that is one of the reasons I do this every year, the shock factor. It fun to do, fooling people and getting the satisfaction of knowing I passed so well it never crossed their mind I wasn't really a girl, but not exactly what I really wanted to tell mom.

What I had been planning for a while, I found I was still too scared to say out loud, just yet.

Just a few days ago, I actually had a conversation with my older sister, about me finally talking to mom tonight and telling her about my feeling. I was supposed to finally tell her how my desire ran much deeper than just wearing a dress and swishing around for laughs every Halloween, but at this moment I just couldn't find the nerve to do it.

But then, as luck would have it, my sister who had heard everything that had or had not just been said, walked in. As she past me, she gave me a stern look through the mirror and then a coy smile.

F- My Life.

Ok, let me explain. Like I said, I had been talking to my sister about my intense desire to live as a girl, so she knew everything and knowing how serious I was, she had given me an ultimatum for tonight.

She had told me that if I didn't reveal the truth to mom tonight she would tell her how I had been stealing her underwear and taking photos of myself wearing them and posting the photos on Tumblr.

(No, dear reader, not my mom's underwear, ewww no, my sister's cute undies.)

She had told me she would show mom the photos and the naughty/ sometimes downright disgusting comments that "dirty old men" had been leaving about them. She also had told me she would cut off all my access to her clothes and makeup as well.