Sanctuary: A Tommyinnit Angst

Chapter 10

Tommy POV:

It's been a few hours . Almost lunch time .

of course .

Niki has knocked on my door and I've just asked her to go away .

I don't deserve them . I don't deserve any of Them.

After the argument I went to the bathroom and puked as much of the eggs as I could up .  No one has come  into the room yet . No one apologized .

That's because they hate you . You don't deserve apologies . It's your fault .

I look back down to my bags . I had my  razors hidden well .

It's been a while . Too long .

I scoot over across the bed and reach down to get my bag . The bag having an ungodly amount of weight , I struggle to pick it up. After finally obtaining my blade I put the bag back.

I shouldn't do this here . It will get everywhere. Don't be a dumb ass.

I talk to myself but don't listen . Before I begin I take the blade and scrape it over my arm. Watching as a thin line showed where I just traced .
Starting was a process.
I remove my clothes and look at where I should begin . My arms where being too used up . I needed somewhere raw and new . Looking down I look at my stomach , grimacing at my rolls that made themselves known. I slowly tighten my grip on the razor and make the first cut right below my ribs . The cold sharp stinging feeling met me overwhelmingly. Such a new sensation, a new way to release. I let out a breath I seemed to be holding . For some reason one cut was enough .

Probably the new area . That's nice . I like this more .

My eyes felt very droopy and my breathing was slow and relaxed . I felt like I had to fight for sir but in a peaceful way . It felt as if when you are so tired you can hardly manage to take a breath . It was comforting. I let my eyes close but not to sleep, just to sit there , letting my breath take control.
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A click at the door . That's all it took . I jumped out of my trance , hoping desperately that I imagined it .

" tommy l-"

I stare at the person .

Will . God fucking hell . Will please . I'm sorry .

My hoodie lay across my stomach hiding my new form of meditation but my arms lay open for the world to see . Thick , thin, tall, and short lines covered my arms . Some white and
scared , most where pink or red.

"Will.."

"No."

He immediately shut the door . Leaving me there . Shock overwhelmed my senses .

Did he really just leave me ? Does he care at all ? Do any of them care ?

I wipe the tears from my cheek and slip on my clothes . In a state of panic I come to my senses and begin to hide razors in my room .
Putting them in bags won't be enough if this gets out .

Keep moving quickly , quietly .

I taped razors to the small parts in my
drawers , I hid them in books , fuck I even hid them in pairs of socks .
Proud of my quick and rational thinking I sneak off to the bathroom . Wills door across from me has its lights on shut closed . Peoples laughing could be heard from a distance .

He didn't tell ? Maybe he did and they are all making fun of you . No they wouldn't do that . They would at least pretend to care. .. right ?