And it's only us (A Dear Evan Hansen single parent au)

Prologue

Trigger warnings: car accidents, hospital, death

It all changed one afternoon in the spring. April 23rd, the date that would be burned in Connor's memory haunts him for the rest of his life.

Connor had taken the day off to watch Tilly while Evan was stuck at work, deciding to give Heidi a break from babysitting the toddler. It was nearing five o'clock and Connor started to get dinner ready, knowing Evan would be home soon, while Tilly sat in the other room occupying herself with cartoons and coloring books.

As he was setting the pan on the stovetop, his phone began to vibrate on the counter beside him. Connor glanced at the contact name, smiling as he accepted the call.

"Hey, mom!" Connor smiled, checking behind him to make sure Tilly was still occupied.

"Connor, sweetie," Heidi's voice was wavering, obviously crying on the other end, "you need to come down to the hospital,"

"What? Why? What's going on?"

The voice on the other end hesitated, sending Connor's anxiety skyrocketing. He heard Heidi sharply inhale, "I got a call from my friend who still works here. She said paramedics were wheeling in Evan. She said he was in a car accident,"

Everything froze. He felt numb. Connor's world shattered around him as his mind processed the information he had just received. Connor couldn't even hear the spatula slip out of his hand and fall to the wood floor beneath his feet.

"Evan... he's gonna be okay, right? Please- please tell me he's going to be okay," Connor whimpered, fighting back tears.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Connor, but I-I don't know. She told me he's in surgery, I'm down here now. You're the first one I've called,"

He glanced over his shoulder at his daughter once again, watching as she continued coloring, with no clue as to what was happening around her. Connor needed to be down there with his family, with Evan, but he didn't want to expose Tilly to that environment. God forbid something happened he didn't want her to see him break down.

It was his decision; to bring her down to say goodbye to her father, or let her stay happy in a world where she didn't have to witness the grief of possibly losing the person Connor loved more than anything.

"I'll be down there as soon as I can, I'm going to see if Cordelia will take Tilly for the night,"

Not even waiting for Heidi to respond, he hung up the call and set down his phone on the marble countertop. Seconds later, the floodgates blew open. Connor collapsed to the floor, hid his head in his knees, and started to sob.

"Daddy?" He heard a voice call from in front of him and snapped his head up, watching as Tilly wobbled over to where he sat. "Why are you sad?"

Connor chuckled and shook his head, rising to his feet and picking her up into his arms. "No, I'm not sad, daddy's okay, sweetie. C'mon, we're going to go see Olivia next door, okay?"

"Livi! I wanna go see Livi!"

Connor slid on his sneakers and helped Tilly step into the dragon rain boots she insisted on wearing. He grabbed some spare clothes and her stuffed lamb to throw into a bag since there was a good chance she would be sleeping next door.

After rushing to make sure she was all ready, he slammed the door behind them and ran across the lawn to Charlotte and Cordelia's property. Connor stepped up to the porch, hesitated for a moment, and knocked rapidly on the glass door.

"Aww, hi Co-" the door swung open, revealing Cordelia, an apron tied around her neck and waist. Her smile quickly faded as she saw what stood in front of her; Connor with tears trickling down his flushed cheeks and the small toddler grasping onto his hand beside him, "Oh, Connor, honey, what happened?"