MY: FIL

04: Let me take you out on a date, Hyung

***

Kim Taehyung

Min Yoongi is no longer only a brother to me. He is no longer just someone I work with, a bandmate, and he is no longer someone I consider a friend; Yoongi Hyung is more than that.

There was a time when I asked him something about our future, about what would happen to all of us once our contract with our company ends, and although I already know that my members have some sort of plan set aside for that day, I cannot help but feel nervous and scared. Bangtan has been my home ⸺ my family for almost half my life, and it pains me to think that there will be a day that we will have to go our separate ways.

He said that no matter what we do, that day will always come, and there will be nothing that we can do about it. Yoongi Hyung said we can only enjoy the times that we have now together, and it made me feel emotional even more to the point that I had teared up. I wanted to force myself not to cry in front of him because I didn't want to embarrass myself. Still, he comforted me, reminding me that he will always be there, my Yoongi Hyung who cradled me in his arms even though I was larger than him, he made me feel smaller ⸺ made me feel safe and comforted.

To think that I will have to be separated from the people I see as my family, to be separated from Yoongi Hyung sounds like a life that I do not want to live.

Yoongi Hyung is special to me, and looking back now, it seems like I have always had feelings for him even way back before when we still have not debuted. I have always admired him for being the talented and wise person he is ⸺ Yoongi Hyung is very pretty. He is the person I am scared to lose the most. Sure, we'll have our own lives after we disband; there will be times that we will meet up, but it still does not satisfy me.

Can't I just live with them for the rest of my life? Can't I just have Yoongi Hyung until the day I become wrinkly and old?

My feelings for him over the years did not change, and instead, it only grew ⸺ just like how Namjoon Hyng feels for him. I know that my members probably feel the same way as I do for Yoongi Hyung. He's the only one who doesn't notice it. But when Namjoon Hyung and I talked about it one night after three rounds of soju, he said that it is probably better for Yoongi Hyung not to notice how we feel about him for the sake of our group.

It hurts, and I never thought that falling for him would hurt this much but still, I'm happy. If there was one thing that I am proud of is that Yoongi Hyung may not return my feelings for him, I still have earned his affection. That is enough for me.

God, I'm falling deeper than I expected.

I am certain that he is more than just a brother to me and had only just realized how my heart yearns for the man that I am beginning to love beyond life itself.

Yoongi Hyung is special to me, the person I'm falling for, and I am not doing anything to stop my heart from drowning in the ocean of one named Min Yoongi.

Slowly but surely, you're carving your own place in my heart.

When did I finally admit to myself that the feeling that I have in my heart whenever I think of him is more than friendship?

It was on that day.

The other members were busy, doing their own things that were scheduled for them by the company. Only me and Yoongi Hyung had a day off, and I was a bit disappointed when our other members couldn't join us. I have been planning on spending time with them outside of the dorm to have a change of environment since we were all so busy with our schedules; the only places that I have been at the moment were our dorm, in the van, and to our next location.

It was getting exhausting, following the same routine over and over again every single day. It was suffocating me, and when I finally found a day where I didn't have any work to do, my band members couldn't join because they were the ones who had work. Well, except for Yoongi Hyung, who will probably nap all afternoon or work on some tracks.

Before leaving, Jin Hyung told me that he wanted to apologize that we couldn't spend time together because of work, and I truly understand that, but he also told me to take care of Yoongi Hyung. I was confused by what he meant.

Then, it dawned on me. Jin Hyung meant that I should take care of Yoongi Hyung by spending time with him. Lately, he has been cooped up in his studio or being taken by management to another location for interviews and photoshoots. Out of everyone in the group, he was the one that has been spending less time with us and more on work, and he pushed himself to his limit, which is why he fainted last week.

After promising Jin Hyung that I would take care of Yoongi Hyung, I waved them all goodbye. Today, it will only be Yoongi Hyung and me spending our time together, and I will make sure that he gets enough rest and relaxation, even if it's just for one day.

I made my way to his room that he shares with Jin Hyung, knocking on the door first, I opened it to see him lying down on his bed, and at first, I thought he was sleeping and was about to leave to let him rest when I heard him call my name, "Taehyung?"

"Yes, Hyung?" I asked.

He turns his head and looks at me by the door before giving me a smile, "Come to Hyung, Taehyungie."

My heart leaped and somersaulted in my chest. Immediately, I closed the door behind me and walked over to him, lying next to him on his bed. As nature takes its course, Yoongi Hyung immediately wrapped his arms around my neck and hummed as he moved closer to me, feeling the warmth radiating off his body.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Tae? Is that why you're here."

He knows me so well; I smiled and nodded in response, wrapping my arms around him as well, pulling away gently enough to look at his face to face, which surprised him a bit based on the expression on his face, "Let me take you out on a date, Hyung."

Yoongi Hyung stared at me for a few minutes before chuckling softly, "Taehyungie? Taking me out on a date? Are you sure you really want to take me out on a date? I'm just your Hyung, you know."

"Yeah, but you're my Yoongi Hyung."

There was silence as I didn't hear him speak anymore. I think he knows what I am thinking and my real intentions based on the way that he is looking at me, but he chose not to say anything. Instead of just lying there in silence, I took his hand from my shoulder and intertwined our fingers before pressing a kiss on the crown of his head.

"Or we can just take a nap here if you'd like."

He hummed once again, snuggling closer, "I'd like that."

My grip on his hand tightened a bit as my mind spoke to him once more, Hyung, I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. It was too late when I realized that I was falling for you. Will you let me? Hold your hand until we grow old?