Heidi by Johanna Spyri

CHAPTER XI. HEIDI GAINS IN ONE WAY AND LOSES IN ANOTHER

Every afternoon during her visit the grandmother went and sat down for a few minutes  beside Clara after dinner, when the latter was resting, and Fraulein Rottenmeier, probably  for the same reason, had disappeared inside her room; but five minutes sufficed her, and  then she was up again, and Heidi was sent for to her room, and there she would talk to  the child and employ and amuse her in all sorts of ways. The grandmother had a lot of  pretty dolls, and she showed Heidi how to make dresses and pinafores for them, so that  Heidi learnt how to sew and to make all sorts of beautiful clothes for the little people out of  a wonderful collection of pieces that grandmother had by her of every describable and  lovely color. And then grandmother liked to hear her read aloud, and the oftener Heidi  read her tales the fonder she grew of them. She entered into the lives of all the people she  read about so that they became like dear friends to her, and it delighted her more and  more to be with them. But still Heidi never looked really happy, and her bright eyes were  no longer to be seen. It was the last week of the grandmother's visit. She called Heidi into  her room as usual one day after dinner, and the child came with her book under her arm.  The grandmother called her to come close, and then laying the book aside, said, "Now,  child, tell me why you are not happy? Have you still the same trouble at heart?" 

Heidi nodded in reply.

"Have you told God about it?"

"Yes." 

"And do you pray every day that He will make things right and that you may be happy  again?" 

"No, I have left off praying." 

"Do not tell me that, Heidi! Why have you left off praying?"

"It is of no use, God does not listen," Heidi went on in an agitated voice, "and I can  understand that when there are so many, many people in Frankfurt praying to Him every  evening that He cannot attend to them all, and He certainly has not heard what I said to  Him." 

"And why are you so sure of that, Heidi?" 

"Because I have prayed for the same thing every day for weeks, and yet God has not  done what I asked." 

"You are wrong, Heidi; you must not think of Him like that. God is a good father to us all,  and knows better than we do what is good for us. If we ask Him for something that is not  good for us, He does not give it, but something better still, if only we will continue to pray  earnestly and do not run away and lose our trust in Him. God did not think what you have  been praying for was good for you just now; but be sure He heard you, for He can hear  and see every one at the same time, because He is a God and not a human being like you and me. And because He thought it was better for you not to have at once what you  wanted, He said to Himself: 

Yes, Heidi shall have what she asks for, but not until the right time comes, so that she  may be quite happy. If I do what she wants now, and then one day she sees that it would  have been better for her not to have had her own way, she will cry and say, 'If only God  had not given me what I asked for! it is not so good as I expected!' And while God is  watching over you, and looking to see if you will trust Him and go on praying to Him every  day, and turn to Him for everything you want, you run away and leave off saying your  prayers, and forget all about Him. And when God no longer hears the voice of one He  knew among those who pray to Him, He lets that person go his own way, that he may  learn how foolish he is. And then this one gets into trouble, and cries, 'Save me, God, for  there is none other to help me,' and God says, 'Why did you go from Me; I could not help  you when you ran away.' And you would not like to grieve God, would you Heidi, when He  only wants to be kind to you? So will you not go and ask Him to forgive you, and continue  to pray and to trust Him, for you may be sure that He will make everything right and happy  for you, and then you will be glad and lighthearted again."