the chocolate box | bts oneshots

04 ; the green in my heart

I think people have colours.

Now hear me out, I'm not trying to be racist or anything, this is a genuine thought of mine. Okay, let me rephrase that. I think some people remind me of colours.

For example, it's cliche but bear with me, the people who make me most happy are a vibrant sunflower yellow to me. The ones who make me annoyed, angry, and frustrated are a boiling crimson. The ones I'm scared of are a shade of the darkest midnights. There are so many more I can tell you about, but I want to talk more about the green ones.

In my heart, there's only one spot for the colour green. The green in my heart belongs to you.

Why you ask?

I don't know either, but I have a feeling it might have something to do with that song you liked. Green, was it?

Oh who am I kidding? I know it's called Green. There's no way I could have forgotten, not when it's the only song which forces me to remember you.

Strange isn't it? How a song can make me think of you and of the times when you and I stood under the same sky at the same time?

I guess humans just work in a funny way, because now I can't not think of you when it plays in my ears. The way the notes bury themselves in my bones, the beat forcing my heart to follow, and the lyrics pricking the parts of me which still remember how you used to make me feel.

It really sucks huh? I used to smile uncontrollably at the thought of you, and now?

Now you're just the green in my heart.

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You know, when I woke up a few days ago, you were the first thing I had in mind. I have no idea why, but I really wanted to text you again, and I'm so glad I stopped myself. How could I ever put myself through that again?

Maybe you don't know, which is fair because I never told you, but liking you was like a rollercoaster ride.

I remember the first time I came to know about you, you were a mess. Literally. Till this day, I still smile when I think about it. The way you were stuttering through your presentation made my day. I can't even remember what you were talking about, all I know is you made me laugh so hard.

I didn't know your name, I never bothered to remember it. We were from different classes and we were both the side characters in this harsh school life.

Somehow, we ended up as table mates after becoming classmates.

I remember setting down my heavy bag as I sat myself down beside you. My heart was speeding, not because of you, but because I was scared of this new situation. I don't know when it started, but from then on, I started falling for you.

Maybe it's because you always had a way to make me laugh even without trying. Right now I'm smiling as I think of the first time you said something silly to me, and I remember trying so hard to stop myself from giggling because I didn't want to seem crazy before you. Because of you, I can't take the word balloon seriously now, and I fully blame you for it.

To be fair, there are many things I can't see the same way anymore because of you. Like frogs, or a number of songs, or Aladdin. Sometimes I think of you when it rains, other times I think of you when I pass by where you live.

Now a days I often think about how it would be if I accidentally saw you on the streets. Would you recognise me? Would you say hi? Or would you ignore me, pretending to have not seen me. Either way, I think it would all hurt me the same. After all, the time I spent knowing you was the happiest, yet saddest time of my life.