pissin' our pants yet? - Carl Grimes fanfic

3

So give me all your poison
And give me all your pills
And give me all your hopeless hearts
And make me ill

You're running after something
That you'll never kill

If this is what you want, then fire at will

Thank you for the venom- My Chemical Romance

Meredith's P.O.V
New day, new thing to worry about. I knew today I'd have to leave. I went to Carl's house but before I could get there, I heard Negan's whistle. Fuck. I see someone going to open the door and I physically can not. I hid behind a house and prayed it was just a coincidence.
(Spoiler alert: It wasn't.)
They opened the door and I peeked my head out a bit, making sure not to get noticed. Out of no where, I heard Carl behind me. He sounded like he was about to start crying.
"I thought you weren't like the rest of them.."
"Carl-"
"No. It's whatever. I get it. You brought me back home just to kill me, didn't you?"
"Carl. It's not like that."
"Oh, but I think it is?"
"It's not.. They're not here for you. If they are, I give you full permission to shoot me in the face. They're here for me. Negan likes me a lot. This has happened before, he never came for the people I helped out. He came for me."
He crossed his arms and looked me in the eyes. "I don't believe you."
"You should. You know I would never lie to you."
"Then why's this happening?"
Before I could say a word, he looked at me like he just saw a ghost. or maybe hes not looking at me? I think he's looking behind me?
I turn around, and sure enough, it's Simon.
"Now what are you doing here?" he says
"You are so fucked up."
"Going against it and bringing Carl and Daryl here, knowing we could've killed them, is also fucked up."
"Yeah but are you gonna kill them really?" I said, crossing my arms at him.
"We could."
"You won't. You'll start a whole new war and we're fucked if you do that." I got up in his face.
"Maybe, But does it really matter? we'll all die anyway."
"Negan will fucking kill you."
"Maybe."
"It's not a maybe, he WILL kill you," I got really up in his face and got even closer, and he started backing up. "He'll stab you in the neck and leave you on our fence thing. You know he doesn't like it when you kill people like this."
He looked down at the ground and back up at me.
"Well, tell you what. If you just come with us, We won't kill anyone. Seems fair?"
"Are you only saying that to get me to come with you?"
"No. I mean it."
"No you don't." I started walking away, but he pulled my arm.
"Youre coming back with us."
"Fine."
I walked back with him to the trucks, looking back at the poor boy with sadness in my eyes. I dragged him into all this. I saw his dad glaring at me but im more worried about Carl. He doesn't deserve this. I got into the front truck. While on the ride to the sanctuary, Simon kept trying to talk to me. Things like "thought it'd work?" or "youre stupid for trying that." I just miss Carl. His presence made me forget all about all my problems and made me feel safer, but now I'm going back to the sanctuary. I wish I never joined these idiots so I could be with Carl. I think I like him.. I don't know. He's cool. I like his hair. As soon as I got to the sanctuary I thought Negan would be at the door, with Lucille, waiting to beat me. He wasn't. I went to my room and cried into my pillow, before falling asleep.