1 ~ FOG

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     I stood in silence, combing my hand through my messy brunette hair; it curled gently over my eyes in soft toffee coloured locks. i sighed, my gray-brown eyes showing dull in the mirror despite the normal vibrant blues shown my blinded gaze.
the bathroom light flickered, illuminating the small bathroom of maybe an even eight feet dimly. my reflection stared back at me in the old pannel mirror, cracks glued at the ends of it. my hoodie was starting to fall over my hands, covering the cracked light-blue nail polish that i'd applied maybe a month ago to try and get myself out of my stress episodes.
it hadn't worked.
my nails were shorted than they'd ever been, the whites having been mindlessly ripped off by the bone of my teeth. the corners stung from the lack of care id been so recklessly using each breakdown. each finger, a hang nail's scar having been left over that have started to look infected.
my green hoodie i'd been gifted three years ago looked ragged. frayed and torn, stained by my countless tears, i looked like a mess. i forced a weak smile before turning around clumsily and opening the door back to my near pitch black room with a shaky wrist. i carefully stepped from the tile to the carpeted floor as if i were going to fall or trip. what was i even going to fall to?
a void of my own over-thoughts? my emotions? pft.
i'm not scared.

am i?

i shook my head, tugging my sleeves over my hands and shutting the door behind me finally. i looked back at my room.
its walls were wooden, lots of useless gifts or items hung to the walls. the wood was definitely a darker wood. it was smoothed and held little dust in the dips separating each well-thought plank. a black blanket hung over the rectangular  window and blocking off most of the light thatd scarcely been able to enter the room. it caused the dim illusion of light which often played with my mind.
all sorts of nightmares have danced through my room lucidly from the illusion. they often mimicked my fears in plays of horror. often mimicking my insecurities in specific.

i shuddered, stepping further to my bed. my alarm clock on the bedside by the plug-in lamp read 5:49 am. i grabbed my phone from nearby it, ignoring the mere remaining 5% warning flashing a bright white notifaction to the center of the screen after unlocking it. so many missed discord calls, notifications, and even a text. wow.
it'd only been maybe a day since i last checked my phone, right?

i started by tapping onto the matching icon i knew so well. it caused a flutter of anxiety in my chest, causing emotion to rise to my eyes. tears already dripped from my eyes. i sniffled shakily, finally taking a look at clay's discord messages;

dream 12/5/19 at 8:32 pm
george? will we be recording today?

dream 12/5/19 at 9:01 pm
you havent been online in two days are you okay?
~
dream yesterday at 7:28 am
george?
~
dream today at 4:15 am
...

my fingers shook, cramped by the fear which shot down my spine.

GNF today at 5:52 am
im sorry ive been sixk r u ok?

an almost instant reply shot back as i allowed my head to hit my pillow. i can't ignore it. i tapped the device back on, peering at the new message through blurry eyes;

dream today at 5:52 am
hi!!! i missed u george <3

my eyes fluttered quickly from shut and back to open in a flurry of sleepiness. i wanted to reply so badly, but my body wouldn't possibly allow me to. a whine rumbled low in my throat as i tried to protest sleep, only being able to text back a simple <3 before being tugged into the waking sleep i'd been acquainted with for so many years now.

  I seemed to reawake to a bed of forest undergrowth. not again.

my eyes fluttered open from the gentle brush of a rough thumb over my left eyelid. what? maybe it is a new place.?

my hues fluttered open to see him. why is he here..?

with a lifeless breath, he lifted my underbuilt body up to his chest, with a sad smile.

"dream?" i tried to ask, instantly panicked by the drowsiness and soreness packed into my small body. fatigue shut my eyes. with sore movements, i gently wrapped my arms around the taller, muscular boy.

"it'll be okay george." i heard his cool voice soothe my ever-pounding chest.

"wh.." the sound finally left my lips, my hazelnut-blue eyes fluttering back open to gaze at him

"relax. you're gonna be okay.. just..-"

"wounded is all."

"wounds..?" i muttered, my voice breaking painfully from winces.

"mhm.. i can explain what happened when we get home." he gently pressed his forehead against mine and gently moved my head to let me nuzzle into his neck. i let a warm sigh escape myself as i began to drift off. i flinched from my mind telling me not to give in. but- why? i trust him..

I reawoke, startled by the vivid dream with a pounding chest. what was that? why was.. why was clay there? second-handed pain still throbbed my body, sorely sitting up i blinked at my alarm clock.
1:31 pm.
how is it that late already? it only felt like fifteen minutes had gone by.
i panicked.
grabbing my phone i quickly began texting back;

im so sorry i fell asleep i had the weirdest dream u wouldn't believe it U werd in it wirh me ypu were carrying me because i was wounded and ....

what am i doing? i sound like a lunatic so openly blabbering about it.

GNF at 1:36 am
sorry i fell asleep.

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⏰ Last updated: Oct 07, 2021 ⏰

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