Tadaima || S. Gojo

Chapter 2

Present Day, Early Morning: Nozomi's POV

I'm laying down on my back, breathing heavily from my dress rehearsal. Of all the years of performing, this year might be the most physically challenging. My new comeback is more laidback and vocally focused, but the numbers I'm performing before this song are physically draining.

For the past 2 weeks, I have been tirelessly practicing for the upcoming end of the year ceremony, Mnet Asian Music Awards, also known as MAMA. And for the past couple of days, we've been having dress rehearsals on the stage to familiarize ourselves and know which camera to look at when performing.

I usually perform my biggest hits from the past year at MAMA, but I decided that I should also perform a new comeback.

To think that 10 years ago, I ran away from my life in Japan is mind blowing. I tell my fans to live without regrets, but I've been living with such burden and guilt for so long. I never got to say goodbye to Satoru and all I can say is I hope he understands why I ran away. And my parents must have been worried sick. I left with just leaving a simple note, but having a child run away must have been hard on them.

Running away was the only thing I could've done, to prolong the curse placed on my family.

I know when I initially ran away, I promised myself that I'd return, but lately, I've been thinking deeply about the life that I've created here in Korea. And the more I think about it, the desire I feel to return diminishes.

Can I stay here forever?

I know that I have to be strong and be the perfect jujutsu sorcerer for my clan, but I'm starting to fall in love with my life here.

Here, I can be free to do what I've grown to love. Can I love the jujutsu world the way I love the kpop world?

Here, I can express myself through music and dance. Can I express myself through my jujutsu technique?

Why can't I just forget about my life in Japan? I'm perfect the way I am now. If I come back to Japan, how am I supposed to go against Akihiko?

And what about my fans? They can't just expect me to stop everything completely and fall off the grid. How can I do that to them? After all they've done for me? After all the years they've supported me?

A lone tear falls out from my left eye.

No matter what decision I make, I'm hurting someone.

I'm sorry, I only intended for my music career to be temporary, but I've fallen completely in love with my life here.

"... hope... Hope?... HOPE!"

I snap out of my thoughts and quickly wipe my tear away.

*Sigh* "You've been spacing out a lot lately. Are you okay? You always insist that you are, but I can tell that something's on your mind."

I mask any emotion that I've let out with a fake smile and face my manager.

"Everything's alright! I've just been feeling a bit more pressure than usual for the Mnet Asian Music Awards since I'm also having a comeback. I wanted this comeback to be a surprise but since it's leaked to the public, I just have a lot on my plate now."

I didn't necessarily lie, I just withheld the truth.

The truth is, I'm conflicted. It's all I have been thinking about for the past couple of weeks and now that I'm hitting the 10 year mark, I might be able to get away with living here for the rest of my life.