I CAN SMELL YOUR FRAGRANCE

THE LINE OF HOPE....

KHURANA HOUSE; Chandigarh

A 24-year old young girl was sleeping with a peaceful smile on her face. "Tring"..."Tring"...."Tring".... The alarm rang thrice at 5 AM and there was a frown on that smiling face. She hastily snoozed the alarm and threw the phone on the bedside table. After 15 minutes the alarm rang again and this time she covered both her ears with the pillow and the irritability in her body movements was quite visible. She was twisting and twirling on the bed and boom. Her hand had hit her husband straight on his face and he instantly woke up screaming; "What are you doing yaar Shehnaaz? Is this the way a person sleeps?" She reverted back to him in a sleepy and irritated yet soft voice, "There is no way to define how a person should sleep in your classy diaries Abhijeet. Sleeping means sleeping and I want to sleep for the rest of the day." Abhijeet was scratching his head at the kind of answer he had got from his wife and suddenly screamed, "Aaaaaaahhhhh...." Shehnaaz instantly woke up to the scream, looked at the whole room and then at Abhijeet who was softly rubbing the area affected by her punch. She shook her head in disbelief and said, "Kya yaar Abhi... Din mein tera parivaar mainu chainn nahi lene deta tey ae subah subah de tere drame. Matlab shaanti se nafrat hai na tainu..." Abhijeet widened his eyes in utter shock and replied, "Apna moh bhang kijiye Shehnaaz ji... Mujhe toh shaanti bohot pasand hai par aap hai  ke neend mein haath pair chalana band hi nahi karti. Roz toh chalte phirte ghar ka samaan todti phorti thi... Ab toh neend mein bhi apna favourite kaam kar rahi ho lekin mere iss pyare se chehre ke saath. Look I am very possessive about my body okay Ms. Punjaban." Shehnaaz was hearing everything silently all this while with a blank face. It seemed as if she was completely disappointed by what Abhijeet said. She replied, "Tumhe sirf ye dikhta hai ke main chalte phirte tumhare ghar ka samaan tod deti hun aur tumhe ye nazar nahi aata ke main pura din tumhare iss bade se ghar mein saara kaam akele manage karti hun bina koi bhi shikayat kiye. Tumhe ye nahi dikhta ke main sabke aas paas hote hue bhi akeli pad jaati hun and nobody talks to me the way they should. Tumhe ye nahi dikhta that nobody has accepted me till date. Tumhe ye nahi dikhta that I am the one taking care of our kids alone jab ki vo bache mere akele ke nahi hum dono ke hain. You know what that they are scared of your anger Abhijeet." Abhijeet shouted, "Shut up!! Just shut up!! Kaam karti ho toh kya jatati rahogi zindagi bhar. Ye sab karna tumhari responsibility hai aur agar ye sab nahi hota hai tumse, bojh lagta hai toh mujhse shaadi kiun ki thi tumne at the first place. Secondly, bacche mere gusse se nahi darte, tumne unke mann mein mere liye ye sab bhara hai because you don't like me. Aur kiun karega tumse koi baat... Ho kon tum. What's your identity in this house without me? Kya kiya hai tumne aisa ke koi tumse baat kare? You are just Mrs. Shehnaaz Abhijeet Khurana and nothing else." A lone tear escaped Shehnaaz's eye which she immediately wiped away and ran out of the room. Abhijeet murmured with an evil winning smile on his face, "Huhh!! Ab iska vahi ladkiyon vala drama shuru! What else can she even do? I don't know when will she understand her responsibilities." 

Here Shehnaaz was standing in the corner of the huge garden outside the Khurana House with her hands folded against her chest and eyes fixed at the view in front of her. Her hair were slowly swirling with the soothing wind. The amazing perfume of the nature was doing its magic. The extreme silence at that one corner of the house was refreshing as the only sounds that reached Shehnaaz's ears was of the birds, insects and leaves. Shehnaaz closed her eyes for a while, took a deep breath and opened them again. She looked at the view and said to herself, "Mere paas aaj sab kuch hai. Ghar, family, bacche, paise, luxury, branded cars, branded accessories, kapde; sab kuch. Par main sab kuch hote hue bhi iss bade se ghar mein sabse akeli hun. Itni akeli ke shayad inn itne saare family members ki awaaz milkar bhi mere andar ki shaanti ko nahi kaat payegi. Kya nahi kiya aaj tak inn  sab ke rang mein rangne ke liye maine. I was like any other simple girl next door with ambitions and dreams to fulfil but I changed myself to the core to become like the crowd around me which is called society. Puri zindagi maine sirf ek cheez pe focus kiya and that is 'vo chaar log kya kahenge.' But, I never gave a moment to myself and asked, 'kaun hai vo chaar log?' Aur ,main khud se ye sawaal puchti bhi kiun... Mere sawaal aur soch toh meri kabhi thi hi nahi kiunki maine toh ek pal bhi khud ke liye jiya hi nahi. Maine toh sirf unn logon ki parwah ki aaj tak jo mere aas paas thee, mere saath thee... I agree that family is the most important part of anyone's life. They stay with you throughout. Your parents raise you, do everything for you but do they give you the right upbringing. Maine aaj tak sirf society ka ek hissa banne ke liye khud ko badalna seekha, sacrifice karna seekha, mom-dad ki izzat bachane ke liye uss har ek norm ko accept karna seekha jisne meri self-esteem se leke puri life ki dhajjiyan uda di. Aaj apne saamne vale cafe ki uss owner ko dekhti hun toh lagta hai itne saal se jaise meri zindagi ruki hui hai. The lady in front of me with a cafe is 24 years old,  married, has two kids just like me but she is still not like me because she is a young entrepreneur and has set that open cafe up in the garden in front of her house. Usne society ke sirf utne hi norms accept kiye jitne shayad uski life ke liye theek thee. What did I do? I silently let my true self die a slow death. This marriage was fixed on the condition that I would quit my career forever and I accepted it in a fear that my family would lose pride in the society. Dance was my whole life and I let 'chaar log' snatch it from me. I was a coward and will be called one forever now because I have no hope of a fresh start left within me."