The Human Heart [COMPLETED]

All About Diamonds

She smiles even in her sleep, silly woman that she is. And still Chishiya is relieved to see it, since she had carried a frown on her face for hours after she had fallen asleep. But now that the first signs of daylight are attempting to break through the darkness, she seems happy.

It is a miracle to him how she can sleep so peacefully considering their cramped position in the back of the car, and Chishiya has long given up trying to sleep himself after he woke up from a short and unsatisfying slumber. Instead he listened to the sounds of her breathing while it was too dark to see anything, and now that the shadows are slowly being chased away, he can watch her smile as well while his fingers run through the soft strands of hair falling over her shoulders.

"I didn't plan to come here at all in the first place."

"And yet you did."

If he hadn't decided to go to the camp with her, he would have been able to sleep in a real bed somewhere in an apartment all on his own. But then again, he surprisingly doesn't care too much. What is one sleepless night in a world like this? He's used to that already. How easy it would have been to just get out of the car and leave the camp unnoticed, search for another location or simply watch the stars move high above his head. Despite the weird position and her body pressing against his in a way that has long caused his arm to go numb, he didn't even try to get away once.

He doesn't want to.

"Stay at least for the night."

"Why?"

"Because you owe it to me. I want three favors in return for you leaving me three times."

Stubborn thing, although he wouldn't have expected anything different from her. Chishiya doesn't owe her a single thing, and he wouldn't have had to stay in this stupid cramped car just to please her. And yet he's here, watching her smile while she's so deep asleep that she doesn't even stir when he reaches for his iPod and tucks one of the earbuds in.

How long will she stay asleep? He most certainly won't remain like this for hours. The new games will start today, so there's no way he'd spend half of it stuffed in a car. It feels that this new challenge is designed especially for him, most of all the Diamonds games.

"Aren't you afraid of dying?"

"Why should I be? No one ever asked me if I wanted to live in the first place."

His stubborn is obviously afraid of that new type of games, and it is such a human thing to be afraid of events that are inevitable. Fear of getting older, of diseases, of death... Why dread something that can't be avoided anyway? Chishiya has seen it so many times already. When his father talked about deceased patients at the evening table, there had never been any pity in his voice. Frustration, maybe, because the responsible doctor hadn't made it right, or annoyance. But if there is one thing Chishiya shares with his father, then it's the knowledge that death can't be avoided. No matter how far medicine will develop – it will allow people to live longer and healthier, but in the end, they will have to succumb to death the same way as their ancestors hundreds or thousands of years ago. Death is something that will never change, thus it doesn't need to be feared. In fact, it is one of the few constants in life.

No. He will participate in those games, and he will win them just like he won every other game he attended in so far, because he doesn't fear the outcome. It wouldn't matter at all if he died now or in sixty years. With a life as meaningless as his, there is no reason to care.

The woman next to him breathes a sigh and the smile on her face widens for a moment. She shifts, only to wrap her free arm tighter around his side. Who said he needs to breathe, anyway? This is a good sign that she will wake up soon at least, and his fingers immediately refrain from caressing her hair. Chishiya can't even tell why it soothes him, and he definitely doesn't need her to ask.