Only my beginning: Natasha Romanoff x fem reader

Home pt.2

I woke up in a sweat, breathing heavily. I lifted my hands up to my face and felt it covered in tears. I sat for a moment, trying to catch my breath until suddenly I heard a knock on my door. I slipped out of bed and walked over to it, pausing before I pulled it open. When I did, I almost let out a gasp. Y/N was standing there in my t-shirt, her h/c hair tied back in a messy ponytail, something she only did when she was stressed, or working on something. We stood metres apart, her in the hallway, and I stood back from the door.

"Tasha, are you okay? I heard you crying and screaming..." she trailed off. I raised my eyebrows, signalling for her to continue. "Screaming my name."

"Oh, yeah, I had a nightmare." I looked over to my clock and saw that it was 2 am. "I'm sorry if I woke you up, I didn't realise it was still the middle of the night."

"It's okay, I was working on something." Y/N shrugged her shoulders awkwardly. "Do you want to talk about it, Tasha?"

"Do you?" I looked at her through my eyelashes which were still wet with my tears. She gave me no answer but walked through my door, closing it behind her, and took my hand and pulled me to my bed. Her hand in mine felt so good, and I had forgotten the effect she had on my body. I could feel goosebumps forming on my arms as her thumb move aimlessly across the back of my hand. We sat down on the edge of my bed, and she moved so that her knee was touching mine.

"Spill," she commanded, placing my hand in her lap.

"I never felt like I had a heart until I met you. You made me feel things I never felt were possible. These feelings scared me, but not because I didn't want them, but because I didn't know what to do with them. I'm terrified now that you hate me and that I'll never be able to fix my broken heart. The day we got back from Paris, Fury told me that I performed really badly and that my kidnapping almost cost us everything and I instantly blamed it on my feelings for you, because it's such a new thing to me. But now, I realise that I physically cannot survive without love, and without you." I took a big breath after my ramble and looked back up at Y/N. She had a tear rolling down her face and I instinctively reached up with my spare hand and wiped it away. I froze instantly, but relaxed when Y/N smiled at me. She looked down at the hand on her face, and her smile became broader.

"You still wear my ring!"

"Of course I do, Y/N, it's the closest equivalent I have of you." I gazed at her face, reminding myself of every freckle and line she has on it.

"I have a proposition for you."

"Name it." 

She slipped off the bed and landed on her knee, still holding onto my hand. "Let me love you until you learn to love yourself."

I stifled a gasp as I looked down at the girl in front of me. "You still love me?" I asked, hating myself for the question.

"Tasha, I could never stop loving you. And besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Nothing I have ever said to you has changed; I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, and if that meant we had to spend a few months apart, I was okay to do that. I just want you to want this as much as I do because I know you are the girl for me."

Tears were now flowing down both of our faces as her words hung in the air. I leant down, taking my hand from hers and bringing both up to cup her face. I felt her rest her head in them, confirming that she was made for me. "Y/N, I have never loved anyone as I have loved you, and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. You are my person, my soulmate, my best friend."

"And girlfriend." Y/N muttered very solemnly before moving her head from my hands and bringing it close to mine.

Butterflies were erupting in my stomach as I felt her breath on my lips as I whispered, "And girlfriend." As soon I said those words, Y/N's lips were on mine. I helped her up onto me without breaking the kiss, and she wrapped her legs around my waist while she sat in my lap. My hands moved up and down her body, tracing every inch of her as she gripped onto my hair, her fingers massaging my scalp.

"Fuck, I missed you," I breathed out as she pulled away, brushing hair out of her face.

"You know, I heard that breakup sex is supposed to be the best, and since we haven't seen each other since we 'broke up'," she formed air commas, "technically this would be it." She giggled, and I swear my heart soared at the sound of it.

"Who are you and what have you done with Y/N Romanoff? You know I would love to do that, but I just want to be here with you tonight, if that's okay. Maybe tomorrow?"

She nodded, bringing her hands back around my neck. "Y/N Romanoff?"

"Uh, I don't know how that happened..." I felt the heat rise in my cheeks until she placed kisses on them, cooling them down. 

She made her way to my ear. "I like it. It's going to be true eventually anyways." I shivered under her breath on my ear until she nuzzled into my neck. I fell back onto my bed, taking her with me, and we shuffled under my covers. I let her turn around so that I was spooning her, just like we always used to do. I placed small kisses on the back of her head and neck, stopping when I let my head rest on her shoulder.

"I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Tasha."

"Forever and always?"

"Forever and always," she hummed back, stroking my arm that was draped over her waist. We fell asleep together, in pure serenity. I was finally home.