idk (mw fanfic)

1.5

(i'm bored again. the previous part was purposefully boring, but that made me more bored, so i think i'm going to pull in these 0.5 parts as random side-stories to add some spice. yea)

Mike was walking down the street one day until he saw a shock of blue flash by him. A flurry of faded green leaves pelted him from behind, ripped from the tree branches by the sheer speed of this thing.

Not to mention, this blue thing stole Mike's chilidog. And, to his credit, Mike might've splurged a little because Maria gave him "the stare" again and made him feel like human garbage (which he was, but that's besides the point). Mike just wanted to feel happy for once, and this chilidog was his one-way ticket to smile-town. Turns out smile-town will never open its gates to Mike because he is always sad and he lost his only ticket, the chilidog.

Realizing the sheer magnitude of this loss, Mike knelt onto the pavement and curled into a ball, a sad, weeping ball of human garbage. In fact, a passing flying garbage truck mistook him for actual trash and scooped him up, and away they flew.

Haha, just kidding. An egg-shaped man attending to various robots and other machines made his way towards Mike the pile of human garbage. Looming over the human garbage, the man smoothed out his absolutely exquisite mustache and assessed the depresso espresso.

"So that little blue furry stole your chilidog, eh?" He asked in a gruff, gargled voice that was reminiscent of what came before or after the egg, go figure. 

Mike whimpered and broke into a miserable stream of sobs. A few sympathetic robots patted his back and offered him a cup of hot chocolate, to which Mike absolutely smacked the hell out of their robotic hands and screeched: "I ONLY DRINK BLACK COFFEE. BE MORE SENSITIVE TO MY PLIGHT."

As some of the robots mourned the devastating loss of one of their friends to short-circuit by hot cocoa, another bravely returned with pipping hot black coffee. Mike also slapped this out of the robot's hands, another death. Man, this guy was really about to commit robo-genocide or something.

Another robot returned with a really sad cup of lukewarm black coffee, which Mike gladly took and sipped as the egg man guided him past the in-progress funeral procession for the recently dearly departed robots.

"Your pain is reciprocated, my friend," egg man went on. "They've thwarted my plans for years--no, decades! I think it's time we return the favor and exterminate those rats."

"So how's about it?" eggman grinned, extending his open palm to Mike.

Mike pondered for a moment before looking back at egg. "Will I get my chilidog back?"

"Ehhhhhhh,,,, maybe? That blue dick is notorious for voring chilidogs," e shrugged, but if you looked closely, you could see he was actually having violent war flashbacks related to chilidogs on the inside.

"No thanks." So Mike jumped off the airship and smacked onto the pavement with a loud crack. Uninjured, he looked down and saw a blue mass spread out below him. His chilidog was perfectly unharmed, just a small distance away from some gloved hand.

The small furries watched in pure horror as Mike rolled off the blue and picked up his rightfully owned chilidog, merrily going on his way to smile-town but also his depressing flat because who is Mike if he is not always upset or utterly miserable.

the end.