Time:Goodnight

- 004

I sometimes picture myself at the end of the world with you but now that the world has truly ended, I'm here contemplating by myself inside a bus. The telivisions that was once used for entertainment during a fieldtrip is now creating nonstop buzzing hoping that a channel might come on but with all this buzzing, with all this waiting, in a dark room where the only source of light was the small telivisions, I remember you.

On a night as silent as this where everyone's asleep, your eyes were wide open. During that time, we lost touch and you decided to completely cut me off of what we used to have. I barely even remember what I used to feel about you but with all this time alone, I had time to remember you.

You asked me if I ate and yes, I did. But I decided to wake up in the middle of the night to grab a cup of coffee to atleast wash off the emptiness that was building up. It was funny how I'm no longer yours to lose but you're still the world to me. And I hate how sometimes when I close my eyes, you still come to mind and you'd hold my hands.

And I hate how you mocked my love for the moon.

We didn't last long, and you did not stay long. I was fine with that, I was young and I did not know anything else but you. All those times you walked past by me pretending I'm not someone you knew, I'd hope. When our eyes met and you'd force yourself to be friends with me because you have to prove to everyone that you no longer love me, I'd hope. Every single time I caught you looking at me, I'd hope.

That maybe you still feel the same way and I know, very well, that you don't. This is my side of the story, and I'll never know yours. We never talked about it, never because I know that there was nothing to clear out over some childish feelings that build up because—

I know very well what I am to you. And I rather not say.

And I still want you here with me at the end of the world but right now, I no longer picture myself with you, with all that I used to dream about you, how funny, that all of my fantasies about you do not include me, subconsciously showing that I'm nothing more than a hidden character in your life.

I'm not a secret but you hid me so well. And I sometimes wish that I never entertained you just because. I hate using 'us', the word makes me nauseous.

Right now there's you, there's me, and before, there's you and there's me. There was never an us, not once.

And with all this silence and thoughts of you and the buzzing sounds— I wish I didn't remember you.

You are so beautiful to me, still is.
But right now, I don't think I can love you the way I did before because I finally know how to let you go.

2:02, Goodnight.

A fictional approach of what triggers the thought and memories of a certain person.