THE INBETWEEN ~ STEVE ROGERS [5]

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There are very few places in this wide world where I felt truly at peace, but there was no doubt in my mind that the rolling plains and lush forests of Wakanda was one of them. Flying over the hills gave me shivers, a repeat of my first arrival back all over again. The air smelled like new soil, fresh fruits and crisp rivers, a scent of which I had forgotten that I craved.

It had been a year since I first came back to Wakanda. My life was, in simple terms, here and there. It had been a year of back and forths between Wakanda and the outside world, spending precious time with both my family and Steve. Outside the borders, existing was a secret and running was all I ever did. But I had a place I could escape to, when I needed. Others weren't so lucky.

This time Steve came with me, something he didn't often do because he didn't like leaving Sam and Tasha out there by themselves. But they weren't his children, and I could tell by the knots in his shoulders that he needed somewhere where he could be in the sun, instead of the shadows.

Taly came with me this time too. She had spent the last three years pretending to be dead, and we had bumped into each other in a rat-infested hostel in the dirtier part of London, and since then she had made several trips back to Wakanda with me. I suspect it was for more than just scenery. My brother had been all too keen to meet my friends but Mama was reluctant. I was sure, however, that upon meeting her, Mama's fears would dissipate. Her values were much like our own, and because of that I trusted Taly with my life.

My room was a safe place. I stood, drink in hand on the balcony overlooking the centre of the city, watching as merchants and farmers weaved in and out of the curved streets to buy and sell the products of their hard work. It still felt wrong, being up here. The deep, twisted knot of guilt crawled up my throat whenever I saw them. Even after a year, I still felt my contribution was too little, that I hadn't done anything to deserve a place in the palace like my siblings had. There were still people in the city who felt I was a traitor, a deserter still. And they could think what they liked. It was no secret that my leaving had caused as much outrage among some of the people that my arrival has an infant had. And now that I was back, though not for good and not all the time, there were those that scowled at me in the markets, and kept their children close for fear of being obliterated by 'the alien princess.'

It was what it was, I suppose. My actions had consequences, same as anyone else, and I was simply enduring them.

I took another drink, out of habit. Whiskey didn't burn my throat like it once had, instead it felt now like an old friend, a warm feeling in my stomach that left me feeling calmer than I had been before. Steve didn't like it when I drank, I could tell, so I chose to do it in those rare moments we were apart, and hid the bottles before he came back. I couldn't get drunk, not really, so all I ever felt was buzzed, eyes droopy and voice soft. We all have our vices, and that is one of mine.

Down below, Taly and Shuri were testing out some new gadgets on the wide surface of the heli pad. T'Challa had been hesitant but Taly had no fear of the unknown and threw herself right into helping Shuri, being her guinea pig for all kinds of things. I was glad they got along, that Shuri had someone else to talk to for a while. She tried to hide it but I knew she got lonely in the lab sometimes. She was too smart for other kids her age sometimes, and they were intimidated by her. I wished I could have brought Peter here, someone has bright and brilliant has her to engage with. Maybe someday that would be a possibility.

Footsteps in the hallway leading to my room crumpled my train of thought and my first instinct was to tuck the empty glass and half full bottle under my bed before the door opened. My instincts had been right, because in walked the broad shoulders of my, well, my Steve.