Stories From A Broken Mind - Depressing stories

Story 04: To My Endless Desire

You've all had that feeling when someone comes into your life and completely ruins everything for you but in a wonderful manner. That's correct, it's love. Or so I thought.

I knew there was a part of me that wanted her the moment I saw her. When I told my closest friend about my wish, he responded, "Two ladies can't love each other, especially at that age!" (We were 14 at the time.) I've known since I was a child that love has no gender; it's just the feeling you get, the little butterflies flapping their wings in your stomach.

I wasn't weird in my want to be near her; instead, I stood back and watched from a distance. And I knew that if it was meant to be, it would be. Nothing in this world is so simple; there's a thing called fate, and believe me, she knows what she's doing.

That girl was nothing out of the ordinary. I guess it was just the way she looked at me, the way she smiled, the way she threw her hair back. I know it's cliche, but it's true. After all, clichés are clichés for a reason: they are true. I was simply thinking to myself about how we may have a wonderful future together. After three years of giving her space and time, we were finally dating. I was happy to be around her. Every time I think about her, a wider and brighter smile appears on my face.

Our relationship, however, remained a well-guarded secret due to the close-mindedness of others around us. It was extremely difficult, but we managed it. Walking around and holding hands was only done late at night. Everything had to be kept so private, which was fine with us since we were happy. We changed a lot over time, or more accurately, adapted to each other. We finished school, and hiding became easier knowing that I had a car and we could go wherever we desired. We also started doing little crimes together. Pickpocketing individuals on the streets and stealing from local shops.

After some time had passed, our modest crimes were no longer so small. We had a couple of handguns and were robbing those little shops and kidnapping teenagers for money. And, yeah, I know this is not correct, but we were having fun doing it, just like in all those movies about crime couples.

Of course, we had to escape the cops several times, and we are still wanted in the small village where we used to live. Our troubles vanished as we moved counties. Starting over was difficult for us, but as ex-criminals, we were able to adjust and are now enjoying a normal life.

I found a nice job, she got a decent one too. Can't say we were poor or unhappy, exactly the opposite, our money was enough for us to be in the mid-class of the society. Everything was literally perfect... until one day.

I began to notice her change, but not in a good way. I didn't say anything since I wanted to observe for myself what was going on. Apparently, she was attending some meetings that her boss held frequently. She never mentioned them for some reason, which sparked my curiosity, but I ignored it because if there was something important, she would have told me already anyway.

I trusted her, so there was no reason for me to be suspicious of her. I just decided to ignore it and go about my business. Time passed, and these meetings became increasingly rare; it felt like a rock was slowly falling off my chest. After a month, everything was back to normal.

She asked me to go to the nearby store and buy eggs and milk because she wanted to make special pancakes for me. I got excited, grabbed my keys and money, and dashed out the door to start the car. I drove there, got out of the car, and everything in front of my eyes went black.

When a bag was placed over my head, I realized I was being kidnapped. I remained calm, trying to hear what they were saying. Unfortunately, I couldn't hear anything because everything was muffled.

We were in that van for a few hours before the car broke down. They took my arms and led me to a building, where they sat me with my hands behind the back of the chair. They removed the bag, and I noticed her standing behind this massive man. I asked if she was okay, and she said, "Oh yeah, babe, don't worry about me."

She put me in that situation, after all, people were right to not trust anyone; fortunately, they didn't search me, and as the lesbian I am, I always had my pocket knife on me.

They all seemed unprofessional because the rope wasn't too hard on my hands and they were constantly leaving me alone. Most of the guards appeared weak and skinny; I'm not sure how they let them keep an eye on me.

Every time they left me alone in the room, I cut the rope a little more. It didn't take long for me to plan my escape. My stay there did not help me understand why this was happening to me because they kept the informational talks away from me.

Two days later, the rope had thinned to the point where it could be cut with a single stroke. All I wanted was for them to abandon me with only one of the weak guards. And, as if they were listening to my prayers, they left me with a skinny, tall guy.

He was peering through the window, and I knew it was time for me to get to work. The rope is no longer there. I stood up quickly, walked slowly to him, and applied pressure to his carotid artery. That made him pass out. Luckily, my mother was taking self-defense classes, and I learned some tricks. Then I pushed his immobile body to the ground and took his gun.

Not long after that, I heard her voice in the distance say, "Hold up boys, I forgot my bag." I'll be right back!" I knew exactly what I had to do, so I went into hiding.

She pushed open the door. When I put my hand over her mouth, she saw the unconscious man and tried to yell for help. I sat her down and asked her to be quiet. I couldn't bear looking at her any longer.

- I hope you know how much I adored you, babe. - I said. She replied quickly, "I know, love." Then I said, "Now I don't have anything else to live for."

- What do you mean? - 'Bang!' I fired a shot at her. A few seconds later, the guards arrived, tied me up, and led me away. After that, I don't recall anything. I lost myself and my mind as a result of betrayal. Nothing was the same after that. I was thrown to rot in the jail room after I admitted I killed her.

I still love her, but sometimes saying goodbye is necessary even if it is not pleasant.

=Published September 26th, 2021 (T)