Brotherly - Larry

Chapter 24 - He Bleeds Red and Green

and another

- Third Person -

Harry's palms were sweating as he stood outside Louis's door, a clear feeling of a lump being in his throat as he stared at the door. He was nervous. It was like their first date all over again. With all those burning questions one asks themselves. Do I like him? Does he like me? Will we ever get along? How will we exist together?

Except, this was not their first date. They didn't have a clean slate. They had baggage. Louis was a serial killer really if there was a better term to describe him, Harry would find it. He just couldn't. At least he looked good doing it though, he tried to rationalise with himself, Edward had Louis looked so elegant, beautiful and sexy. 

Harry was a damaged liar, he didn't know if he could properly get over what Edward had done to him. He was just trying to bury it with all his other secrets he had never told anyone. Louis barely knew him is something he could recognise. Just the person Harry had tried his best to be and portray. Someone who was accepted. 

Harry grumbled to himself, they both had their issues and maybe that's something that could help keep them together. He feared he may stop breathing if he didn't open the door, so, with shaky hands, he twisted the handle and he misjudged the weight of the door and stumbled into the room.

Louis peered up from where he was sitting, staring into space, a cuff around his ankle, keeping him attached to the bed, a dusty blue oversized jumper covering his body. He was cross-legged with sweater paws in his lap. He recognised the curls immediately. "Your clumsy."

Harry flushed and nodded his head as he shut the door behind him before coming to stand at the edge of the bed, Louis was the only one who could make him falter from his confident and charismatic self. He didn't mind though. 

Harry tried to not let his eyes fall to the chain but he couldn't help it, he could even see a few dents in it and a remote for the television in the room which was pretty much destroyed. He wondered if Edward knew Louis had tried to escape. 

"Are you even allowed to be in here right now?" He hummed, noticing where Harry's gaze was. He could tell the man wasn't in here to try and break him out, that much was obvious. He had nothing on him that could take the chain away. 

"Um yeah, I am. Made a deal of sorts with Edward." He peeled his eyes away from the remote and up to Louis's eyes which were peering into him. It was like Louis was trying to figure out the man's intentions, Harry assumed he didn't want to be manipulated. "Can I sit?"

"I guess." Louis shuffled a bit more so he was closer to the headboard. It's not that he was afraid that Harry would hurt him. He just, when he looked at him, he saw Edward there too. Then, the distrust he had for that man and this one just boiled excessively in his stomach and it made him uncomfortable. 

"Why are you here Harry?" Louis's voice did drop a bit in volume when he asked the question, he was a bit nervous about what the answer was going to be really. Just like Harry, he didn't know where the other stood and he could barely understand where he stood.

Luckily, the best medicine is talking. 

"Well I..." Harry looked away for a few moments before looking back to Louis, trying to think about what he was going to say. The silence that filled the room was almost suffocating, both just staring at each other trying to figure it out. "I still love you, Louis. I do."

Harry's admission surprised not only Louis but himself. His response had come out with a big breath of release. He did love Louis, he really did, as he eyed the boy he could still see the curves and crevices he could trace at night, the feathery hair he liked to play with, the lips he adored kissing and the eyes he let himself sink into. 

Louis sat up straighter at Harry's response, honestly, he didn't know if he preferred that response or the silence that almost seemed to have them by the throats. What would Harry's love even mean now? Would it be the same? Make him feel the same? He had a lot of questions and he had to shake his thoughts away because they weren't helping. 

"I love you, Harry." Louis's chest fell quit extensively after he spoke his truth, eyes falling shut as he took in what he had just said. Harry always made him feel safe, always was his spark that let him know that he always needed to keep going. The dimpled smile always sent shock waves through Louis, he knew the man had a pullover him. 

Harry nodded, a small smile appearing, he did shuffle slightly closer, he didn't touch though. He was never one to be able to make that move. Harry had a burning question though, he knew it was sort of an elephant in the room too. "The killings Louis, are you... um, do you..." He trailed off unsure how to say it. "is killing a part of your life now?"

Louis bit his lip, sure he knew Harry's presence did calm him, but it was the lingering thoughts and issues that helped keep him on the edge. He looked down at his fingers, the very things he had wrapped around countless weapons to use against others. He even shut his eyes to try and figure it out. 

"They are, but, they don't have to be. I don't need them. They aren't all who I am. I can't change the people I have hurt, but, I don't have to hurt any more of those who don't deserve it. I'm more than that. I am. I'm still good." He wasn't just speaking to Harry, but, to himself.

Louis had his own struggle within his mind and he needed to accept that maybe he was, Edward did manipulate him, but, the feeling he got was one that Edward couldn't force him to have. That bloodlust developed on its own. The desire came alone, it just needed a big push from Edward. 

"I know you are Louis. You've always been good. Especially to me, always seen a heart of gold." Harry smiled a bit more, he kept his tone warm, obviously seeing the apparent stress on Louis's features. "Edward's world is filled with bad men, there are plenty there that definitely do not deserve life."

"Edward's a bad man." Louis still couldn't look at Harry, not right now, not during this conversation. It was a big weight he felt. 

"Maybe he is. Well, he probably is. But you won't kill him, Louis. Maybe wound him, but, you won't kill him." 

"How do you know that?"

"You would have done it already then. You shot him in the leg, he's pretty much recovered from that. Since then, you've made no other physical attempts to hurt him. Verbal, maybe. But, I think in some kind of way you like him too." Harry explained, slowing down his talking as he finished up. He didn't know if he was right after all.

"Like him? No. He hurt me and he hurt you. Besides, I'm in love with you." Louis shook his head and finally looked up at Harry. He knew he loved Harry. Why would Harry ever suggest him thinking that sort of way about another, especially his brother?

"I know you are. But, I can't give you the sort of permission and attention Edward does. These past few weeks... I know you liked your time with him, Louis. It was thrilling if anything. My life isn't and can't be like that. I'm not him." 

Harry really didn't know where all his words were coming from, he didn't even know if he properly felt this way. It just came out like word vomit. 

"I don't want to lose you." Louis frowned and shuffled closer to Harry, they were about a foot apart but they leant in, so their faces were only a few inches. 

"You won't. Not again."

Louis had admitted to Harry his inner demons, but, Harry maintained his false sense of identity despite the opportunity to express his past.

Harry hinted at his own indiscretions and that was enough of that for him, for now.