Self-love and acceptance (for a spiritual teen)

month 2: oct 2021

I am at a healthy weight and I am slowly getting rid of my excess fat. I'm shedding all the toxins in my body. Toxic thoughts, toxic fat, toxic habits, toxic feelings- they're all leaving me.

I am filled with knowledge and creativity. I constantly seek improvement and am very productive. I stick to my promises and I work smart. I take rest when I need it and function like a pendulum with a constant force. My driving force is my determination to gain superior knowledge, and to go to my dream college.

I am never resentful of my choices and make the appropriate and sensible decisions. I speak and act with charm and I am an honest, trustworthy and reliable person.

I am singularly focused on my goal to clear the toughest competitive exams, but I am still kind, compassionate and helpful to those who need. Unless help is asked for, I do not voluntarily involve myself in others' business. And I never do myself, what others can do for me because I have learnt to never exert myself without good cause.

While I don't manipulate others, I also am fully aware of other manipulative people and stay aware. I can read a room in a jiffy and I am very aware of myself and my words.

I am mindful of my privileges and exploit them to the maxima healthy extents. As an intelligently calculative person, I speak when I need to and I have the power to move an audience and offer convincing reasons, arguments and excuses. But my effectiveness and productivity levels don't require me to have to come up with excuses.

I am a busy person but I handle things with poise, grace and great humor. I don't put up an act and am genuinely very likeable.

I am great at graphing and a genius in computer science, my literary knowledge and command over English make me a topper. My understanding levels help me score amazing and marvellous marks in physics and chemistry. As an aspiring engineer, I have the knowledge, creativity and intuition to be a first class engineer with immeasurable potential.

I am a well sought after young girl, with a graceful face, smile and personality. My key attraction is my humor and positive approach to life- and I attract successful, powerful and friendly people. Even the generally unfriendly people are attracted to me.

My natural healing capabilities makes me much desired, approachable company. I offer intellectual conversations and stimulating ideas. I am constantly learning from within myself and from my surroundings.

As a psychologically stable person, I can understand the paper setter's mindset- thus elevating my understanding of the world. I can easily score very high marks even with minimal effort.

I am a very quick and agile mathematician. I expose myself to multiple different problems and thus am familiar with all the patterns. I have a healthy and well-sorted mind and am calm under pressure.

I am grateful to god and the universe for taking care of me and for being my constant guiding light. I am grateful for my life, luck and my resources. I am grateful for my mindfulness, sense, awareness and potential for further growth.

I am grateful for all my blessings and am fully aware of my duties to the universe and humanity. I execute these duties with a smile on my face and maintain and spread my positivity.

special subscript for the approaching hunter's moon:

i am extremely grateful for the opportunity to set things back on track. i can finally lead the honest and knowledgeable life i have desired. i have scored 95%+ in all my exams and i can fully understand the concepts of science and the niche's of technology and language. the logicality of math has  been my omnipresent guiding light and i am much more calm and collected because of my enhanced abilities to calculate.

i associate myself with the right people and the universe finds its own ways to keep the wrong ones out of my path. in my journey, i do not feel loneliness. for the only companion i desire is the experience i shall gain. i work towards my dreams tirelessly and the universe offers me a helping hand in all my desired endeavors. i know what and what's wrong and thus, am rational and diligent in my journey to my desired reality.

-x-

some side trivia: the way tribes gather meat before a long winter, i intend to gather a bit of my extrovert energy and knowledge. my exams are scheduled to start on the first of december and shall go on all the way till three days before christmas. since i have a bunch of minor, potentially life-determining tests coming up in rapid succession, i might be forced to 

1. socialize less. and thus, feel a little more bored- since i am currently on an extrovert 'phase'

2. study more and thus, cause myself to feel more mental exertion. until now exams truly did feel like child's play to me. but now i'm genuinely scared of the outcome.

despite this i am happy, because at the end of the day, no knowledge could go to waste. perhaps i could murder my physics teachers applying the exact same theories and key ideas they've painstakingly taught me :)

either way, a lil' disclaimer- i genuinely do love my physics professors and would never harm them. but i'd love them even more if they could only give me the grade i desired lol. and to be honest, i high-key manifested my physics teachers so... in my defense, they're good teachers, but cruel examiners.

(p.s. i'm really peachy at the moment and i simply can't get out of this miserable mood.)