the bad boy's girl

13 - aaliyah reid

just a heads up: commenting """update""" does not make me want to update. it does the opposite, actually, yknow like "well, now that you're telling me to do it, im not gonna do it."

not to mention, commenting update comes off as entitled and like you don't really care or acknowledge or realize that the author is doing this in their free time and putting in work for your enjoyment while having outside responsibilities, all you care about is getting the next update. and you know the author-reader relationship is a give and take. (im under no obligation to write just as you are under no obligation to read.)

i, of course, am not saying you need to be invested in my life or anything, i'm just telling you that it comes off entitled and insensitive and generally doesn't make me want to update. call me sensitive, that's fine, i have too many bad associations w this platform to be my normally happy go lucky self. nevertheless, i write or whatever.

saying "can't wait til the next update"—or something similar—on the other hand is perfectly okay as it doesn't put any pressure on me and lets me know you're excited for the story's continuation and puts me in the mood to continue. (also im not like actively shitting on people who did say update because i just think they didn't realize how it came off.)

if the formatting is fucked, it's because im doing this on mobile bc got no clue how to work this on laptop. unedited, expect mistakes, etc etc. uhhhh sorry if i come off like a dick, i have a lot of bad experiences w this app so i be on the defensive and overprotective of me writing.

08 - aaliyah reid

"He didn't want to kiss her, if that helps," Keke piped up behind my locker while I stowed away excess textbooks in the early morning. "A few of my friends were there. They told me how everyone was playing spin the bottle, and they convinced him 'cause he was high off his ass but that was all it was."

Despite my inner weekend mantra of being through with him, it did help. Knowing that it wasn't an intentional decision to fuck off with someone else, he hadn't purposely sought another, lightened a load off my chest. A weight still remained, though. The issue went further than that.

I sighed and shut the metal door, revealing my cousin's grinning face. "It does make me feel better," I admitted. Had he explained that to me and assured me that it was part of a game while he was intoxicated, it wouldn't have been a deal breaker. "But not enough for me to forgive him."

Her expression quickly shifted. "You're not a grudge holder," she pointed out with a theatrical poke, cocking an eyebrow because even she knew that an incident like that wasn't a cardinal sin.

As far as I told her, our falling out was the result of red lipstick on his mouth and a sputtering lack of explanation. What was said between us remained there. Truth be told, the words like gum in my head, a mess that wouldn't be removed. It was like a shitty foil cassette that wouldn't stop playing how much you hit it.

I wanted to change him, that was what he thought. All the times we hung out and talked, that was his impression. Why the hell did he continue to connect with me, then? What the hell was that confession that he liked me too when his real feelings saw me as disingenuous and fake?

And that brought me back to wondering if I had come off that way, replaying a number of scenes between us that I initially looked at fondly. I liked Jax for his brash but secretly goofy personality, and I thought he liked me for mine. But you know what they say, drunk words are sober thoughts.

My skin crawled at the idea of how long he felt that way, a bit of guilt mixed with hurt and disappointment. "I... I misjudged him," I finally answered her confusion, swallowing a bitter taste, and turned down the hall. "We aren't compatible as friends, or anything at all."