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Shattered Sorrows - (19)

Shattered Sorrows.

A dull ache greets me the next morning. It begins in my chest and expands until it's taken complete control over my body.

It's about four in the morning when I wake with a jolt, covered in a cold sweat after a very vivid dream involving Ivan.

I let an involuntary whimper of pain leave my lips as I lie in the bed, not moving.

Despite the early hour at which I have awoken, I don't bother trying to get back to sleep, nor do I get up. When Oliver comes through to wake me up as usual, I pretend I've been asleep the whole time.

I think even he picks up on my dead tone but he doesn't dare mention it, something I'm extremely grateful for.

My parents don't question it when I drop Oliver off and leave immediately with a sad smile on my face. 'I won't be long,' I promise flatly and Mom's face turns into a frown but she nods all the same, presumably thinking that I'm going to see him and that I'm just tired from the exhausting week.

Instead, I drive to Maddie's house, where I find her standing in the kitchen nursing a steaming cup of coffee.

Typically, she picks up that there's something wrong the moment I walk into the room and she puts the coffee down on the counter before pulling me into a hug. 'Oh, honey,' she murmurs quietly, rubbing my back. 'What's wrong?'

I sigh against her shoulder, letting my eyelids droop. 'I told him,' I croak out. 'I told him and he left.'

There's a long silence in which neither of us speak.

After a while, she pulls back and looks at me directly in the eye, her own swimming with pain. 'Oh, Poppy,' she sighs. 'That's horrible, I'm so sorry.'

'He was angry,' I whisper, stepping out of the hug and flopping down in a seat by the table. 'He was so furious that I hadn't told him about Oliver and yes maybe I should have but surely we could have worked it out. He told me he had absolutely no problem that I had a son and that if I'd said anything to him at the beginning about it, he would have welcomed Oliver as one of his own. It was literally just the fact I didn't tell him for so long.'

Maddie stares at me, fury welling in her face. 'Are you serious?' she snarls, clenching her fists and swiping up her phone. 'I'm calling the girls. I presume Oliver's with your parents?'

'Yeah,' I mutter. 'They have no idea, I just told them I'd be back soon so I presume they think I'm with him.'

She glares at her phone as she types away furiously. 'The stupidest thing,' she tells me angrily, 'The stupidest thing is that he was so worried when you were away and he kept calling me and asking if I'd heard from you. I swear, it was ridiculous and now he turns around and does this.'

Panic seeps through me. 'I hope you're not saying that to him now.'

She scoffs. 'Of course not, I'll leave that to you. As much as I would absolutely love to rip his face off, I know I can't because firstly you'd murder me but secondly it'll be much better for you to absolutely kill him.'

I smile sadly, shaking my head. 'No, I'm not going to say anything to him about it. Obviously if he left like that, he's not worth it at all.'

She smiles at me. 'Pops, the man's practically in love with you. He's just upset, it's not like he's not going to try and contact you again.'

I tense, shaking my head. 'I don't care,' I respond emotionlessly. 'He left and that's the only thing that matters. You can't do that, not as a parent. That was his one chance and he blew it.'