out of sync

3.

I reached for the door to my room and slowly turned the knob, allowing it to fall open a few inches. I could hear Elliot chatting to Evangeline in the kitchen, the sizzling of breakfast, and the scraping of pans and utensils. The truth was, after three full days of uninterrupted time with my thoughts—away from home and my usual distractions—I was starting to feel a little uneasy. I'd avoided any opportunities for substantial conversation that I could, and I wasn't surprised that Elliot and Mia hadn't pushed the matter, given the circumstances. Even though I felt like I didn't want them to reach out, I knew it would be better for me if I wasn't completely isolated. That shining piece of wisdom was something I'd picked up from watching my mother. I couldn't bring myself to start the conversation, but I figured an open door might at least be a baby step.

I was proven right when I heard Mia's usual hurried steps come to a halt as she passed on her way to the stairs. She knocked twice, pushing the door fully open to peer in at me when I prompted her to come in. I was sat on the bed pretending to read. She didn't step inside the room, opting to speak to me from the doorway.

"Um, are you...coming down for breakfast?" she questioned, her eyes on the book in my lap. I closed it and pushed myself off of the cushions.

"Yeah, I think I will," I smiled as best as I could, and she looked shell-shocked, her gaze vacant as I walked in her direction. I readied myself with a deep inhale before continuing, "are you going to the stables today?"

It was Saturday, but school was technically still in session, so I wasn't sure of her training schedule. She blinked, eyes finally meeting mine. I felt my lips tug up at the corners again, and her own smile began to take over her face before she turned to walk downstairs.

"Yes, I am," she replied, a familiar smugness laced in her tone. "Are you finally going to join me?"

"Well, I can't leave Firefly hanging any longer. I am his favorite human, after all," I retorted, earning an eye roll and a full grin as she turned to face me.

"Your dad said you got another horse since my last visit, too?" I asked, genuinely curious. All Elliot had said was that he'd bought her another horse, but she hadn't been able to ride him thus far. I wondered if it was the horse that wasn't sound or Mia being stubborn, as usual.

She groaned at the mention of it, making her way into the kitchen as I reached the bottom stair.

"He may as well not be my horse, he's impossible. Barely lets anyone near him to groom or feed, never mind to ride. You'll see."

Originally, I'd just wanted to go to the stables as a distraction, but I couldn't deny that the prospect of learning a new horse made my hands and feet buzz with anticipation. Maybe I couldn't sort through my own difficulties, but I had never met a problem horse that I couldn't connect with.

If I understood the looks on the others' faces correctly, my newfound energy was sudden and unsettling to them during breakfast. For the most part, it was an act—a role I knew how to play, and play well.

Melody McDonald: resilient in the face of challenge, relentlessly determined, always a shoulder to lean on, a regular Miss Reliable. If those were traits that I once felt sure described me, it was hard to recognize them in myself now.

—

We got to the stables relatively early in the morning and Mia pulled me into the office to see Sam before I could sneak past into the stalls. The usual greetings played out in front of me, blurred in my vision—both literally and mentally—my mind fixated on getting to the horses.

By the time we were finally walking in their direction, Mia was outright laughing at my behavior.

"I should've known you'd be like this," she snickered. "Can't keep you away from a yard for too long, even if you were on Mars."