dirty little secrets → rc

22: hurts more than I could have imagined

It was the night before Midsummers, everyone was filled with excitement at the event that occurred annually. 

I however glanced anxiously towards my dress sitting on my dresser. 

I stood looking at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a sleek black strapless dress and left my hair in its natural waves.

I walked over to the balcony with a cigarette between my lips, once standing in the fresh air I raised my lighter to the stick and inhaled the smoke. 

I was dreading the family dinner with the Cameron's, it always happened the night before midsummers but this year things were different. I had to sit at the table and act like I didn't hook up with the eldest Cameron sibling in a bathroom stall the previous day.

Finishing my cigarette I grabbed my bag and other essentials including a flask of vodka knowing I will definitely need it to get through a whole night with my family.

Walking downstairs my mother was walking out of the kitchen into the hallway and her face turned into a scowl immediately seeing my appearance.

"You look like a high-end prostitute" My mother scoffed forcefully pushing past my body. "Disgracing our family once again".

"Thanks Mom I like your dress too" I muttered under my breath watching her walk away from me.

"Ignore her you look great," Spencer said walking up to me as I smiled.

"Thanks, Spence"

After talking with Spencer for a little bit my father ushered us out the door and into the car. We all stayed silent driving over to Tannyhill because really what are we supposed to talk about? the weather? politics? or both my parent's affairs maybe.

For some reason, my stomach churned in excitement and possibly nerves - I wasn't exactly sure. All I knew was that I wanted to see Rafe, I wanted to see how he'd react after what happened yesterday after he ignited a feeling within me I thought was impossible. 

No guy had ever made me feel like how Rafe did, I wish I knew why.

I sighed in relief pulling up to the Cameron family mansion knowing I could at least distance myself from my parents as my mother's words still lingered on my mind. 

Something about hearing insults from your own mother, the person who is supposed to love you unconditionally hurts way more than I could have ever imagined.

But I smiled politely at Ward and Rose and thanked them for hosting us as my family moved into the house. I stuck by Spencer's side not speaking much as we walked further into the house and into their fancy dining room used for more formal events and dinner parties.

"Willa hey!" Sarah smiled rushing towards my body and hugging me tightly.

"You look amazing" I gushed seeing her dressed in a white slip dress and flawless makeup.

"Thanks, darling, you look incredible I love the red lip" she winked as I brightly smiled at my best friend. I felt like I'd barely been seeing her lately and Topper's words were still implanted in my brain, I still wasn't sure why she'd lie over who was at Chapel Hill with, I wouldn't care in the slightest who she's hanging out with but she'd tell me in her own time.

"Hey, Wheezie" I grinned as Wheezie pushed Sarah out the way and standing in front of me. She immediately wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm so glad you're here this will be so boring" she groaned.

"It always is," I said absentmindedly as my gaze moved over to Rafe across the room talking to Spencer. Except he seemed less than engaged in the current conversation and was instead fixated on my body. 

His eyes raked me up and down whilst he slightly bit down on his lower lip. To be fair I was doing the exact same thing, I was trying hard to focus on Wheezie talking about her excitement for the next day but I couldn't tear my eyes off Rafe wearing a white polo button-down that had buttons undone revealing the top of his chest and black slacks.

"Rose and I picked up my dress a few weeks ago, I'm so excited I can't wait. Aren't you excited?!"

I tore my eyes off Rafe focusing on Wheezie "Yeah Wheez I'm excited as well" I said with a slight smile.

I watched Rafe and Spencer walk over to us girls as the parents were mingling on the other side of the room. 

Rafe walked right up to my body stopping in front of me, I glanced up at his eyes seeing them focused solely on mine.

"Willow" he nodded before slightly smirking. 

He quickly turned his head around seeing Spencer and Sarah sitting down at the table with their backs toward us. Seeing he was in the clear Rafe leaned into my body getting close to my ear, "Keep wearing dresses like this and I can't be held responsible for my actions" he whispered lowly as an involuntarily blush rose to my cheeks.

Just as soon as he whispered in my ear he had moved away from me.

"Okay! Let's eat!" Ward announced sitting down at the head of the table as waiters and caters came into the room almost on cue.

Seeing Spencer and Sarah sitting next to each other I walked over to the other side as a waiter pulled out my chair. To my delight, Rafe sat comfortably next to me as I was opposite his sister.

"It is a delight to have you all here again for another year, to have our families together again," Ward said standing up with a wine glass in his head. "Let's raise a toast to another year and this beautiful meal we're about to have. Here's to a lovely night with excellent company".

I followed everyone else and raised my glass in the air clinking it against Sarah's. We all settled and dove into separate conversations waiting for our meals to be served.

I continued sipping the champagne in my glass but figured it wasn't strong enough. I stayed mostly silent as the group started talking about something I hadn't bothered to pay attention to. 

I just couldn't shake my mother's words no matter how hard I tried, it was like they were on loop in my brain, a disgrace to my family...it was all I could focus on.

The drink in my hand wasn't doing it for me so I edged my body in my chair closer to Rafe and slightly turned my back from the parents at the table. I leaned my head down bringing the glass with me and carefully grabbed the flash from my purse without being seen. Rafe closely watched as I poured the liquid from my flask into the glass. Once satisfied I steadied the flask just as Rafe snaked his hand forward snatching it from my hand.

I glanced up at him and he winked pouring the vodka into his own glass. I watched him lean his head closer to mine "What's got you down?" he said lowly.

I sighed shaking my head "It's nothing" I said before finishing the rest of my drink with my face slightly cringing at the taste.

"Whatever you say, princess"

"So Willow how was your return been?" Ward asked interrupting our conversation as I glanced from Rafe to him at the head of the table.

"I'm so glad to be home, it's fun so far being back with everyone" I smiled politely. I locked my jaw seeing my mother roll her eyes. I turned my head looking at Rafe with a stoic look on my face.

"Yes" my father cleared his throat "She'll be staying out of trouble unless she wants to return back to boarding school," he said sternly looking at me. I stared at my father with the same stoic look biting the inside of my cheek.

I was staring in the distance when I felt Rafe's hand move onto my thigh.