Now I'm changed {soukoku}

♡ Chapter Eight ♡

Dazai was honestly expecting to wake up next to a sleeping Chuuya, unfortunately, he woke up all alone in a relatively cold bed, his behind hurting more than he'd like to admit. His brow furrowed in vexation as a frown of lament crept its way onto his face. He could sense a bad aura emanating from the living room. Dazai was assuming Chuuya was upset -or angry, he didn't know, they were much the same thing when it came to Chuuya -this could only mean one thing, Chuuya didn't remember anything and now he was regretting it.

The thought of that tugged at Dazai's heart a lot more than he'd like to admit and he felt a sense of sadness and dread bubble through his body at the thought that he had to go and eat something and face a regretful and angry Chuuya. It filled him with nervousness. But at the same time, why exactly was Chuuya mad? He couldn't be mad at him, could he? He hadn't done anything, he wasn't even in the right state of mind at the time.

Dazai shook his head trying to suppress his feelings. He got out of the bed with a mixture of a whine and a groan, his legs felt like jelly, a sharp pain shot from the bottom of his feet up to the end of his spine. Groaning, he went to search through some of Chuuya's clothes not failing to notice that he had kept a lot of the clothes that Dazai had lent him on their missions and always "forgot" to give back.

In the end, he settled on a large black sweatshirt and some grey sweatpants, then with a nerve-wracking sigh he opened the door and walked into the kitchen. He glanced around the room and saw Chuuya with his back turned, across the living room smoking on his balcony, he had a warm jumper on and white sweatpants on, to shield him from the chilly December air. Dazai shivered slightly as he sat down at the aisle with his back to Chuuya, not knowing what to say.

The tension in the air was a lot like a deadly still lake, if anyone said anything they would be dropping a boulder in the lake and disrupting the eerie peacefulness. Dazai decided to stay quiet and eat his croissant, if he didn't say anything he wouldn't be the one to drop the boulder, Chuuya would be.

Truthfully Dazai had expected it to take a lot longer for a Chuuya's stubbornnesses to break, but somehow, and very unlike him, Chuuya calmly spoke.
"Do you remember anything?" Chuuya asked, his voice was raspy from all the smoking he had done (Chuuya did that when he was stressed.)

Dazai didn't turn around and instead turned his gaze towards the table
"Yeah, I remember everything." He breathed out, closing his eyes sadly as he heard Chuuya mutter a bunch of swear words under his breath
"It doesn't matter anyway. We were both drunk." Dazai paused hesitantly.
"You obviously regret that it even happened so it's best to forget about it."
"Forget about it? Regret it? That's not the fucking problem!" Chuuya retaliated turning around from leaning back on the balcony, staring daggers at Dazai's back, causing him to finally turn around, only to bear witness to an angry Chuuya glaring at him, yet again after so many weeks of truly showing how he felt, without even realising it Dazai hid
behind his usual mask.

"Then what is the problem?" He asked stoically, giving back the hardest and most believable glare he could muster.
"The fact I don't fucking remember anything! How do I know I didn't hurt you? Also what about our damn relationship?! What are we supposed to fucking do now?!" Chuuya spoke his tone getting increasingly louder
"You didn't hurt me so if we forget about it nothing will change. It's a simple as that, why do you have to make such a big drama out of fucking everything?" Dazai snarled back his sense of hurt overpowering his anger
"Because unlike you I give a shit if I treat people like they're garbage!"

Crack.

"I do care? Are you stupid?" Dazai asked causing Chuuya to laugh bitterly at him
"Care? You? Since when? All you do is manipulate and play with people."