A Sapphic Novel
Aspen Chantelle's life has been going downhill since her brother walked out, her sister promised hell on her, and parents pushed their expectations harder than ever. School is awful too, with the rumor going around that she is homoph...
"Evеrybody forces me to move like a robot A butterfly with lost wings A butterfly that wants to fly Eh-oh, to the world
One more time I try my best to spread my wings That barrier's in the way A butterfly with lost wings A butterfly that wants to fly Eh-oh, fly high butterfly"
-P1Harmony 'Butterfly'
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Chapter 0: Those Who Wish Hell on Themselves 🦵🏽 (Warning: Homophobia) Aspen POV
I remember the day Luca came out to us. It happened at dinner, a year ago, right before my Junior year. At that time all of us were present at the dinner table. Mom, Dad, Luca, Amari, and me. We had just finished our grace when Luca decided to speak up.
"I have an announcement." This is how Luca started the dinner. Before anyone got to grab their fork, to grab a piece of chicken, Luca started.
"What is it?" Mom had asked. Mom was always nicer to Luca, as he was her only biological child and son. Dad also seemed like he valued him more. Even though I would never admit it aloud, I was always jealous of this. Jealous of him.
Luca pursed his lips and brushed his honey blonde hair from his face. He glanced at Amari and me before he spoke, "I'm Pansexual."
The table was silent. Dad put down his fork, "You're gay?"
"No, I'm Pan, dad. I'm not gay. I like-" Dad cut him off, "What's the difference? If you like boys you're gay."
"Congrats Luc," Amari voiced herself. I was thinking to do the same, but mom shot a sharp glare our way, silencing me. "Don't congratulate him! This isn't something to be happy about," she fused at Amari.
"What's wrong with Luc being Pan? I don't see anything bad about it. Lots of people-" Dad had interrupted once again.
"'What's wrong?' Our son liking men is what's wrong! This is a Christian house. No one here will be a homosexual!" He slapped his hands on the table. Mom nodded her head, agreeing with him completely.
"That's so stupid! He's your son. How can you not support him?"
"I'll never support anyone who wants to go to Hell! Especially those Homosexuals!"
Both Amari and our parents were yelling at each other. I stayed silent, folding my hands into my lap. I glanced at Luca to find him staring at me, tears visible in his eyes. But besides the tears, there was a silent question: Did I support him or am I also disgusted? Although the question was without a voice, it felt like the loudest thing ever. It floated around the room, bouncing off walls to echo into my head again and again. The sound of my parents' angry voices also accompanied it. My hands fiddled, legs bouncing.
At that moment, I couldn't answer his question, so I simply stared down at my lap.
Suddenly, Luca rose from his seat. His chair scraping loudly against the floor. The yelling stopped as he stood. "I'm leaving," he said. Amari followed him as he left the room. Mom yelled as she also got up, "Where do you think you're going?" When Luca didn't answer Dad threw the plate at his back. It missed, instead hitting the wall right next to Luca as it shattered.
"What the hell? Fuck is wrong with you?" Amari screamed. Dad grabbed another glass and Amari rushed Luca out of the house, cursing and without a hijab. Both Dad and Mom followed them yelling, until finally the front door slammed and I was left sitting at an empty dinner table.
Plate clean, glass untouched. I sat in silence.
Question of the day: Have you came out to your parent(s) yet? A. No, I'm kinda scared but at the same time why should I have to come out?
