Agathokakological

Agathokological

Agathokakological
(Adj): Composed of both good and evil.
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My lungs were on fire and my legs felt like they would give in at any moment. I looked behind me only for a second but he was catching up to me. The cornucopia was within my sights, all I needed was to get my hands on a knife. Once I kill him it will all be over, I will be able to go back home and see my family again as much as I didn't want to hurt him. The cornucopia was only a few feet out of my reach when he tackled me to the ground. I struggled out of his grasp but his strength overpowered my body. He pinned my legs and arms down onto the ground. I looked into his eyes, they were no longer the light brown I remember. Now they were pure black, tears of blood dripping down his face. He was no longer the Ezra I remember, now he was a bloodthirsty capitol mutt. His face grew closer to mine as he made animal-like noises. He put his hands around   my throat squeezing as hard as he could. The air was escaping my lungs but wasn't coming back in. My eyes darted around in a panic as I could start to feel the effects of strangulation.  But something shiny caught my eyes, I reached my arm out as far as it would go to try and obtain the object. My fingers grazed it and I tried again until it was fully in my hand. Black spots clouded my vision as Ezra continued to put pressure on my neck. The second I was about to go unconscious I lifted the metal object and impaled it in Ezra's head making him fall limp on top of me. His blood covered my body as I gasped in the air. Ezra was my friend, he had a family and I killed him. I killed him.

I jolted awake from my bed. Beads of sweat poured down my face, my breathing uneven and heavy, and tears streamed down my cheeks. My eyes darted around the room to check my surroundings. I let out a shaky breath, I wasn't in the games I was on the capitol train. But that wasn't much better. I wasn't in the games now but I was going to be soon; for the Quarter Quell. I got up and went to the bathroom to wash my face, the lukewarm water didn't do much.
I lay awake for hours trying to go back to sleep but I eventually gave up, it was no use and it's not like I wanted to go to sleep and experience the nightmares all over again. Seven years and I still can't get any of it out of my head, but no victor really can, can they? The nightmares vary from night to night. Sometimes they're of my games, sometimes they're of Snow, others they're of the men and women that used my body for their own sick pleasure. But the ones that really shake me to the core are the ones my brain makes up, not of any memory but the ones I think of. The ones of when my friends die, even though that has happened, the ones where I never win the games, but would that really be the worst thing to happen.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a knock on my carriage door. "Come in." I yelled. Silvy the escort for district Eight walked in with her usual silver hair with a bright pink dress and heels on. I didn't mind her actually, she was pretty nice but she just didn't understand the victors. "Maeve darling, we're here." And with that she left. I sighed, I hated being in the capitol but the one and only good thing to come with this was to see my friends again. I sent them letters semi-regularly but it got harder over time. But if they weren't there I don't know where I'd be, ever since my family died because Snow killed them, they were there for me. Johanna and I always made jokes on how we would kill Snow, our dark humour showing way too much. Annie and I would always talk and paint together, I always felt bad for the girl. Haymich and I would tell drunken stories to each other. Mags and I would simply sit quietly enjoying each other's company. Then there's Finnick, out of everyone he and I would be the closest. He had been there for me ever since my games, he would stay with me through the nights I had nightmares and I would do the same for him. We could always have a conversation, a real conversation. But at the same time we would always crack jokes and whenever I was in district four he would teach me how to swim, which now I can do nearly as well as him. Finnick was my best friend and I can only hope the Quarter Quell doesn't change that.