Ride or Die

Part 6

"Sorry," Ava draws back, breaking the spell. She wishes she could tug him in again almost as soon as they part. "I can't."
"Did I do something?" Tentative fingers brush her hair from her face, a lost expression on his face.
It takes strength to not grab him and bring his lips back to hers.
"It's not you. I just shouldn't. Not while I'm with Jamie."
She should have known that a day out with Jordan might end like this. Perhaps she already knew.
But she can't have both. She has to choose between comfort and safety, or braving a new journey.
Jordan nods, putting a little more space between them.
"I shouldn't have kissed you."
Ava shakes his head.
"But I never discouraged you. I shouldn't have come."
Jordan stares hard at the salt stained planks, making Ava wince at the flash of guilt that squeezes her chest. She has been so selfish, taking from both boys, leading them on. But the kiss with Jordan was everything those with Jamie lacked.
It was raw, real, passionate. Exciting.
It's not all as simple as ignoring those feelings and going back to Jamie, being dishonest.

"Maybe I should take you home," Jordan suggests quietly.
"Maybe," she agrees.

Dusk has settled by the time Jordan pulls up outside Jamie's apartment, this time on the right side of the road.
They'd hardly spoken. What more was there to say?
She may never see Jordan again if she decides against him and he knows it.
Ava slides out of his car, thanks him for the day out and drags her feet inside and up the stairs to Jamie's paint chipped door.
The door sticks sometimes, so she has to push her shoulder against it to make it budge, unsticking from the frame.
drags her feet to the chipped 
"Jamie?" She calls as she kicks her shoes off, wandering insider. It's dim, and doesn't smell of food so he must be waiting for her to make something.
"In here, babe."
He is sitting in front of the television, watching a music video.
"Have you eaten?" Ava asks, to confirm her suspicions.
"No, I was hoping you would," he suggests.
Suspicions confirmed.
"Okay, well how about some pasta?"
"Sounds great, babe."
So, with a look of spite at the messy kitchen, she sets to work on it. At least it isn't a large space to cover, since it's so cramped. There's always an upside.
"So how was your day?" Jamie asks, turning from the TV to talk.
The breath catches in her throat.
"Not bad," she manages to get out. "Yours?"
She hopes her face isn't too red.
"Fine, watched some new show. Now this."
And with that, the conversation peters out, partly because Ava feels so grimy about withholding her truths, and partly because Jamie always has boring answers. Keeping her secret hidden will be exhausting. She just hopes it'll be her that tells him.
"Watch this," Jamie suggests. "They're called Poison. Good band."
Ava preps a pasta sauce while watching a countdown of today's popular music videos.
Then she sits down and watches so brainlessly that the pasta sauce burns and the pot starts smoking.
So, she makes it all over again. She doesn't feel like a young woman in her prime. She feels like an under appreciated maid.
After she serves up the food, she just heads to bed. She needs to think away from the noise of the TV.
Ultimately she knows the answer to all of her questions. She has to tell Jamie.

Jamie folds his arms as he watches Ava pack her things into a duffel bag. He hadn't taken the breakup well, which wasn't exactly a surprise.
But then again, she was sure he felt the same way.
It isn't like they were in love.
Once she confessed to meeting Jordan, twice, Jamie flipped out. That, she knew wouldn't land well. There was no pretty way to say it, no easy way to let him down.

"So where you gonna stay?"
Ava doesn't have that part figured out yet. All she knows is she's headed out into the city of opportunity, to make memories and have fun.
"I'll find somewhere," she replies, pausing to look him in the eye seriously. "But I can't thank you enough for your generosity."
"So thankful you slept with another guy, apparently."
She chooses not to argue, not to mention that she hadn't slept with Jordan. Because it means the same thing. She wasn't honest.
"Be careful," Jamie says curtly, avoiding her gaze.
"And you take care of yourself," Ava half smiles.
His jaw clamps shut, but he nods affirmatively.
"I will."
Once out of the apartment, lugging her bag behind her, she searches for a job. But all she hears is:
"Sorry, we're really looking for someone with experience."
"Well you seem like a lovely girl, but since you have no references, I'm afraid we can't offer you a position."
"Thanks for coming in today, but we'd like to employ someone with three years previous employment."