Unfulfilled

#5

My mind felt like a cloudy gray sky. The remainder of the drive to the hospital and the proceedings thereafter were too fast paced to keep up with. I woke up in a sterile hospital room and my nostrils were filled with the smell of cleaning solutions and medicines. I looked around to see my family talking to the doctor outside my room door. My head throbbed a lot. The nurse saw me flinching with pain and told me that my fall had apparently given me a concussion. Although she was surprised that I managed to stay conscious for as long as I did. She didn’t know that the last thing on my mind was my own health or pain. All I wanted to see after that fall was the face of the boy because of whom I was alive. My eyes welled up with tears at the thought of his blood on my hands as he lay on my lap. It took his death to bring me that close to him....to feel him...to touch him as if nothing else in the Universe mattered. My train of thoughts had taken off to such a painful destination that I did not realise the audible sobs I let out. My parents and the doctor rushed in. The door was left ajar and I got a glimpse of a lady in khaki. I didn't like where this was headed. My mom gave me a knowing hug as if she understood every bit of the pain I was feeling. My dad kissed my head and joked around to lighten the mood. He showed me the scar left by stitches on his head and how we'd both have matching scars like some secret society. Dads are honestly lame but I love him. Both my parents were trying so hard to ease the pain without letting me have sedatives. They were doing a good job. I could barely feel the throbbing in my head, it had become a dull thud compared to the typhoon of raging emotions spiraling in my mind. I suppose a few days or hours went by in phases of induced sleep and confusion. My mom brought in dinner during one of my waking phases and she was accompanied by a lady constable. I had been dreading this conversation but I was old enough to know that accident cases that involve death have investigations. I honestly wasn’t ready though. I hadn't properly grieved my greatest loss yet. No one mentioned him and I feared the answers I'd get, so I never asked any questions. Mom looked at me reassuringly and tried to speak a few words of comfort. I silenced her with a knowing smile. I was going to do this, for Rishu. He deserved justice. That truck driver ought to be hung!
The constable greeted me and inquired about my health. I was being purposefully cooperative for I needed her to be on my side. "So Gargi, You were with Rishabh at the time of death. Could you please elaborate what exactly happened?" I swallowed the lump of tears that had formed in my throat and began talking. I narrated the story of how we met after his text and his insistence to go to the bridge and then the life changing moment the truck sped towards us. She seemed satisfied with my answers. But I had a few questions of my own. "Have Rishabh's family members been informed? Where are they? Has Didi come by to visit? Has she filed a complaint against the driver, if not, can I do it on behalf of his family?" "A case has been lodged against the driver but only by your family. Rishabh wasn’t an accident victim. It was a suicide."
A thundering sound rattled the windows. Summer rain was impossible especially here in the city. But so was Rishabh's suicide. The sky turned grayer.