One Last Night ( Joey x Phoebe )

'Heart of Gold'

Five hours before dawn

"Are you still nervous?"

"Yes, a little bit."

She keeps looking at her wedding dress hanging in front of us. It is such a graceful white dress trimmed with lace. I can sense there is all sort of inner excitement going on behind those eyes, even though she seems more anxious.

"I'd never been aware you wanted to get married."

"You're right. I've never wanted to. Not until I dated Mike. He never ceases to amaze me, you know, I'm a weirdo, but he always gets me just how I feel about stuff, like the way no one does, ever."

I smile at her, even knowing that I can be more than him, but she's never let me show my love for her. Phoebe and I are standing in a very thin line that we can never dare to step out of our way, or the line can be torn up. Ever since we became best friends, she usually asked me to find her a date. I wanted so badly to offer my name, but I was a total coward around her. And all the possibilities got to the dead end when I brought Mike to her a year ago.

"I'm so happy for you, really."

"Thank you."

Her smile is like a gift from God. Not everybody lightens up the whole world like Phoebe does.

"Hey, Joe. Do you remember the first time we kissed?"

"Absolutely. Why?"

"Nothing, just wanna know why you gave up easily on Ursula."

Such a very easy question, of course I have the answer in my mind, but the difficult thing is that I cannot say it.

How can I say that I dated her sister because I could not have her? Phoebe and Ursula look so much alike as if they were the same person. Same height, same blonde hair, same soothing voice, same eyes. But they felt literally different. Not until Chandler told me that Phoebe was mad at me did I realize that I didn't like Ursula. But the truth is I liked Phoebe, but I could not have her. It might sound ridiculous that she is with me all the time, she is just a meter away from me; however, the closer we are, the further we get.

And I was just an idiotic little boy, I thought Ursula would replace Phoebe's place in my heart. I was totally wrong though. Twins look alike, but they are totally different people.

"Because friendship is the most important thing in my life."

"I am glad you chose our friendship over her."

"Yeah. I'm glad I made that decision."

We remain silent for a while until she asks me another question.

"What did you feel when you kissed me?"

"You mean the first time?"

She nods.

"I don't know. Good?"

That's the best word I could come up with? Good? Am I trying too hard to avoid my feelings for her? What if I hurt her feeling because my stupid word Good?

"Alright. I've always known Ursula is hotter than me, and I don't know why. I mean, we look the same, but everybody falls for her attractiveness. And I am just a charmless other twin that no one really notices."

"No, Pheebs. Not at all. You are a wonderful girl with a heart of gold. The better I get to know you, the more you become attractive. And now, you literally are more attractive than your sister, I swear."

There are sparks in her eyes that keep staring at me. "Thank you, Joey." I cannot believe, the next five hours she will belong to someone else. I cannot believe I'm not even in a competition, I have lost for so long though.

"By the way, you're such a great kisser. Your lips felt warm." says her, tenderly.

"Really?"

She nods, "I suddenly got why all the girls were chasing after you."

"No one was chasing after me."

"Don't act like you don't know how hot you were, and still."

I am silent. Yes, I know how hot I was. But my hotness means less than nothing as long as the girl I love doesn't love me back. Although there isn't a chance for me to confess, I can predict how it will turn out.

Phoebe kills the silence, "I hope someday you'll find the one."

I already found one, I think to myself.

"Thank you, Pheebs. Someday."

"Yes, someday."