Avengers family and their spiderbaby [Slowest Updates Ever]

Angry 'Shrek' attack

How many of y'all relate to that above pic?

*Is pushed in still in a loose shirt and sweatpants with messy hair * ....Soooo...heyyyyy.

Yes I know. I know. I haven't written shit in like forever but hey I'm here now! So don't pelt me with eggs eh? 

Anyways, go on read and vote! And please for the love of Chaotic gays, Comment. I won't bite you. And have a great day/ night or whatever!

..................................................................

Here they were. Fighting in Wakanda. All of them side by side as the Avengers made a bigger barrier between the space mutts Thanos' goons had released and Vision and Wanda as Shuri tried to heal him. Hulk had made a comeback right in the middle of the battlefield after he saw Natasha being thrown off to the side.
Thor's dramatic and thankfully at the right moment entrance had given all of the heroes a few seconds to think of their next attack move. And right in the middle of all this shit was Peter Parker with his father figure, the one, the only Tony Stark yelling at him to steer clear of the space mutts so he wouldn't be harmed. Which was kind of impossible considering they were in the middle of the battlefield.

Tony then at that moment went to help Rhodey who was currently being hounded off by the space mutts. Peter thought for a moment if he should go to Shuri, Wanda and Vision in the lab or fight here. Not a millisecond later he was webbing up the mutts and fighting his way through to get to Tony. His mask wasn't on his face and his curls bounced as he jumped over some of Thanos' goons. What our dear Spider-kid hadn't noticed was that a certain God of Thunder was looking at him curiously from across the battlefield. As he whacked a few mutts off with Stormbreaker he yelled, "Who let a child into the fight?!???"  Several of the heroes looked at Thor and then into the direction he was looking at. There they saw a teen in a nanotech spider suit who at the moment was talking to The Hulk while Hulk just kind of nodded with a confused face. 

Then everybody, like EVERYBODY witnessed a 15-year old, human version of Bambi pick up Hulk like it was not a big deal at all and yeet him at the oncoming goons of Thanos with a yell of "ANGRY SHREK ATTACK!!!" Hulk sailed through the air like a cannonball and right as he was about to crash into the space mutts he stuck his arms up front in a punch and then more. Silence overtook the battlefield as Thanos and his goons looked up in straight horror at what a child could do. The Avengers and the Wakandians weren't any better. The silence was broken by Thor as he said, "...Never mind, he isn't a normal child then." And then the battle continued.

After it was all over...

Peter was sitting on a bar stool as he checked in with Aunt May who had no idea that her nephew had just fought a war. She thought and was told he was on a Mentor-mentee time with Tony in England. Just as he ended the call, Thor came up to him with two mugs filled almost to the brim with what seemed like some kind of alcohol. He was grinning ear to ear as he sat down next who was trying So hard not to fanboy. "EXCELLENT work today, Peter Tonyson. I didn't know Stark had a child but WE MUST CELEBRATE OUR VICTORY!" Thor said as he handed Peter one of the mug. Peter wondered how he was gonna tell one of his childhood heroes that he hadn't drunk alcohol even once in the fifteen years of his life and the fact he wasn't Tony's kid. (*scoffs* Yeah right)

At that very moment somewhere nearby...

"How long was I gone for again?" Tony has an exasperated expression on as if he had answered the same question a hundred times. Which he possibly had. He raised his arms up as if beckoning to God to do something. Which would show how done he was cause for the love of everything scientific, he was an ATHEIST. 

"For the hundredth time Bruce, You were gone for TWO YEARS. Not that long! But we still missed you!"(Wait-was it 2 or 3 years?) Bruce looked at him with a deadpan look. "But it was long enough for you to have a child?" They were now in the main area with everybody.

"For the last time, Parker is not my kid, I'm JUST his mentor!" (*Marvel fandom 'mmhm-ing' in the background *)

"I don't believe that for one minute Tones." Tony sighed. He looked around the room for a certain Spider-boy until he locked his eyes on a certain God of Thunder who had two mugs of beer in his hands and was about to give one to Peter. Tony grimaced. He started walking towards them and said, "Thor no! The kid is 15!" Thor looked at Tony for a moment then with a wide grin gave both the mugs to Peter. 

"Oh. Why didn't you just say so Tonyson? Here have them both. you're a growing boy!" Tony took the mugs from Peter and set them down on the table. "Thor NO!". Bruce who had followed Tony was giving him the same deadpan look as before. "Not your kid huh? Okay if you want to keep secrets from your science buddy Tony." The billionaire facepalmed. This was not what he signed up for. Thinking this Tony clicked on his watch as his hand was encased in his suit arm. He raised his arm up and the cannon let out glitter. This caught everyone's attention. Clearing his throat he spoke loudly, "Okay whoever thinks Peter here is my kid, raise your hands." 

Everybody raised their hand, except Peter, Tony and a few confused warriors. Tony sighed. "Rhodey why the hell is your hand up?" A 'Language!' was heard in the background. Rhodey just raised and eyebrow.

"I thought we were just keeping it down low"

"Wait-so does this mean the Spider-child is not yours?" Loki spoke up. 

"No, I'm his MEntor guys CMON!" Tony said. 

"Oh in that case." Loki said getting up from his place and coming over to them and picking Peter up "He is my child now and I shall adopt him legally." Saying this Loki vanished with a poof! leaving green smoke behind. Tony looked at the place where Loki had been standing with wide eyes as he took it what Loki said. Then he ran out of the room with his suit forming around him with what sounded like "DaMMIT GIVE ME MY SPIDER-KID BACK REINDEER GAMES!"

Rhodey snorted as Pepper sighed with Thor still confused. "Mentor my ass, he'll so adopt Bambi within a week." Rhodey said. Harley, who had witnessed the whole thing snorted too.

"I bet 3 days max." And with that everybody went back to celebrating.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...And here ya go! Also, check out my new fanfiction 'Moon and Mischief- What could go wrong?'

Don't forget  to Comment and vote guys! Until next time! Oh and one more thing. You can send in requests! *vanishes with a whoosh! of her vampire cape*